What would you do when your wish came true? Some are easy. Like when we finally land on Hawaii after years of dreaming about it, I would be ecstatic. But again, not all are simple like that. Take mine for example.
For over two years, I have been thinking of quitting my job. Even with months old twins and a full time time job, I have never wanted to take a break. But then whatever happened, made me continually think about quitting my job and just staying home with kids.
There were lot of reasons. I wasn’t spending quality time with kids; I don’t cook proper healthy meals; We are always in a rush; Or exhausted: or feeling guilty about almost everything. In general, just surviving the day just so we could have another one just like the previous one. Add to this, my work got into a really bad place. So while I struggled everyday to go to work, I just wanted to quit.
Because of BFF (what would I do without her. ❤️), I changed my mind to at least take a break from work and not quit completely. This option was safer. And so I waited and waited and finally puckered up some courage to ask for a 2 months long vacation. Basically taking August and September off. This and that later, my leave was approved and that vacation starts TOMORROW. 😊
Now, that’s my dream coming true. But was I completely happy on Friday ? Actually even till now, I don’t think it has sunk in yet that tomorrow I don’t have to go to work. Because that’s been such a big part of my life always, I don’t know what it feels like. Maternity leave etc were different. So I was feeling guilty about this. Am I taking a chance and screwing up my career? Am I just wasting my time? I don’t know for sure.
But the fact that I have wanted this consistently for over two years must mean something. Things are definitely better now that my parents are here , but I don’t want to forget how mentally and physically exhausting it is, on our own, especially with a job you don’t like. Sometimes it feels like I am running away, but maybe that’s what I need. To take a break and figure out what I really need. And so what if the break is only for two months! I need time to recover. To spend some quality time with my kids. To give them a not mentally worried mom. At least for a short time.
Yesterday evening was a crappy day. Very very crappy. I don’t want to mention why, but because of what happened last night, most of the confused feelings I had are gone now. I need this break. I really need to save myself. I do.
Murali and kids today, did the sweetest thing. Here I was thinking that Murali didn’t approve of my plans but they come home in the afternoon and threw me a surprise start of vacation party. I had no clue. 😃 and that put me in instant good mood. There was a banner, cupcake cutting. That was enough to tell me it will be okay. It’s okay to do what I am doing. As if the sweetest thought was not enough, they bought me all my favorite things. Movie tickets, gift cards to my favorite stores and a wireless headphone set. It was amazing and I couldn’t be more thankful. Feeling loved is wonderful. ❤️ They even made me this banner.
Now the plan for my next two months. I have ideas and goals and I want to make sure I make the best of the time. Kids will be with me two days a week; I will also be making time for my hiking trips and possibly sightseeing with parents. In general, hoping to have the time of my life. Please wish me good luck and happy days ahead. 😃