Wish come true….

What would you do when your wish came true? Some are easy. Like when we finally land on Hawaii after years of dreaming about it, I would be ecstatic. But again, not all are simple like that. Take mine for example.

For over two years, I have been thinking of quitting my job. Even with months old twins and a full time time job, I have never wanted to take a break. But then whatever happened, made me continually think about quitting my job and just staying home with kids.

There were lot of reasons. I wasn’t spending quality time with kids; I don’t cook proper healthy meals; We are always in a rush; Or exhausted: or feeling guilty about almost everything. In general, ย just surviving the day just so we could have another one just like the previous one. Add to this, my work got into a really bad place. So while I struggled everyday to go to work, I just wanted to quit.

Because of BFF ย (what would I do without her. โค๏ธ), I changed my mind to at least take a break from work and not quit completely. This option was safer. And so I waited and waited and finally puckered up some courage to ask for a 2 months long vacation. Basically taking August and September off. This and that later, my leave was approved and that vacation starts TOMORROW. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Now, that’s my dream coming true. But was I completely happy on Friday ? Actually even till now, I don’t think it has sunk in yet that tomorrow I don’t have to go to work. Because that’s been such a big part of my life always, I don’t know what it feels like. Maternity leave etc were different. So I was feeling guilty about this. Am I taking a chance and screwing up my career? Am I just wasting my time? I don’t know for sure.

But the fact that I have wanted this consistently for over two years must mean something. Things are definitely better now that my parents are here , but I don’t want to forget how mentally and physically exhausting it is, on our own, especially with a job you don’t like. Sometimes it feels like I am running away, but maybe that’s what I need. To take a break and figure out what I really need. And so what if the break is only for two months! I need time to recover. To spend some quality time with my kids. To give them a not mentally worried mom. At least for a short time.

Yesterday evening was a crappy day. Very very crappy. I don’t want to mention why, but because of what happened last night, most of the confused feelings I had are gone now. I need this break. I really need to save myself. I do.

Murali and kids today, did the sweetest thing. Here I was thinking that Murali didn’t approve of my plans but they come home in the afternoon and threw me a surprise start of vacation party. I had no clue. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ and that put me in instant good mood. There was a banner, cupcake cutting. That was enough to tell me it will be okay. It’s okay to do what I am doing. As if the sweetest thought was not enough, they bought me all my favorite things. Movie tickets, gift cards to my favorite stores and a wireless headphone set. It was amazing and I couldn’t be more thankful. Feeling loved is wonderful. โค๏ธ They even made me this banner.

Now the plan for my next two months. I have ideas and goals and I want to make sure I make the best of the time. Kids will be with me two ย days a week; I will also be making time for my hiking trips and possibly sightseeing with parents. In general, hoping to have the time of my life. Please wish me good luck and happy days ahead. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Advertisements

๏ปฟHi Five

Oh!! Guess who turned five this week. Yep, my little precious twins. I just can’t believe they are already five. Last few years have been sure as hell exhausting, but I just can’t believe it’s already been five years.

Kiddos were surely looking forward to turning five. I was too because it is such a milestone right. I mean turning five is as huge as turning 18, to me. Especially because turning 18 is far far away and I am no way eager to get there now.

I sure hope that time will somehow slow down and we enjoy and cherish more of these precious times.

Coming to the celebrations, I once again had wished to make the birthday amazing and celebrate it in a spectacular way. But like before, I ruined my plans by not planning anything. I don’t know if it’s because I lack help or something else. Point was, our birthday celebration turned out to be just like any other years and I had to tell myself that kids don’t have these expectations about turning five and they just want to have fun.

So, after a lot of debate with myself, I picked a play place for their birthday party. The birthday fell on Monday so I picked Saturday for the party. That way, at least I could do an extended weekend birthday.

The week before, did a little shopping. Nothing major at all. We kept everything low-key. Kids will have some time to play in the play area with their friends, and then cut the cake, eat pizza and then bye-bye. That’s all. Friday evening P and her husband came home. Next day other close friends joined.

We picked super heroes in general as the party theme, so as a little special, we all adults bought super hero shirts as well. I was captain America and Achu was Bat Man. She looks so damn cute in that shirt. These days she wears some of Abhi’s shirts and I love to see her dressed like that.ย Abhi covered all avengers.

We all took pics dressed as super heroes, went to the party, met friends and the event was over soon. ย  ย Before we left I was unhappy about how low-key celebration it was, I guess I still am. But it is really important that kids have fun. Not me throwing a special party, right!!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Next day, ย we had a long drive beach trip planned and Abhi was starting to get sick by then. I was really not interested in driving that long anyway, nor in staying over night, so I opted out. Instead chose to do a day trip to the beach.

Westport is the closest beach to us. Some 3 hours away. This is also the beach we visit often. Thanks to Abhi’s non-stop bathroom breaks, we got there some 4+ hours later. Murali bought kites on the way. I forgot to pack beach toys, but with the nice sunny weather, flying the kites, running away from the waves and simply settling down on the mat, kids didn’t need anything else.

Achu flew the kite high. Abhi preferred to tie a low tail to the kite and run around with it. He also was just happy playing in the sand, while Achu got her feet wet with me. At one time, her sandal floated away. You should have seen her panicking. It wasn’t going anywhere, but still she was cutely worried. Another time, a tiny little wave hit her, she was trying to hold my hands. I didn’t let her, so she lost her balance and fell right into the water. It was so much fun. She loves being the brave one, these days. She will go sit on all kinds of kids rides and even get close to the waves, but still slides are scary for her. ๐Ÿ˜€

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

We headed back home after the trip, with a tasty dinner at an Indian restaurant on the way. Any time, desi food is always my preference.

Next day, was the D-Day. When Abhi and Achu really turned five years old. I had plans to do a birthday hike to a nearby waterfalls with kids but Abhi was super sick by the morning. It is so surprising to me now, that I was not a tad bit disappointed about Abhi ending up sick this day. Finally, I think 5 years of parenting has adjusted my expectations to take whatever comes my way. ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, like it has happened many times to me, while one kid makes me worry, the other kid brightens the mood. And that was Achu who made my day that day, by dressing up in a traditional ghagra. It was a bright colored one, that P got for her. I wasn’t sure that was a good color, but when Achu wore it, she looked so damn adorable. I mean, rest of the year I am always telling her, being strong and kind is more important than looking good (always, start early), but just for today I basked in the glory of my daughter’s beauty. I was allowed one time. ๐Ÿ™‚

img_2032

My mom made a special birthday lunch for us, like the ones we do on a festival. In the afternoon, we watched Cars 3 movie with kids; Did a short trip to temple. A trip to the store to buy kids birthday presents and then back home. Day was done. I couldn’t get a good picture of them together to remember the occasion. I need to get something done.

That is how Abhi and Achu turned five. Not tiny little babies in diapers anymore. But now they are the ones running away from the waves, flying kites, riding scooters, looking so so adorable and also watching movies in theaters. Next year, they will be something else. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Little Moments

It was one of those mornings. It was my turn to take kids to school. I was already late, tired too. Add to that Abhi and Achu need to be told to brush, get dressed, eat etc etc, just about a 100 times.

Finally I get them into the car, trying to buckle Abhi in. Now the seat belt starts acting up. I am trying to push it in. It wont click. Sitting between both the kids, I keep getting more frustrated. “Oh. Commonnnn”. I yell in frustration. Achu who was right next to me, puts her palm on my hand and gently rubs my hands. “Its okay Amma”, she says, trying to calm me down.

That, if you ask me, is one of the most precious things a four-year old can do. Showing compassion.

***

Abhi and Achu sleep on their own, but by the wake up time, they usually end up in our bed. Even though Achu is in our bed, she usually just wants to cuddle up with her blanket. Unlike Abhi, who is all into cuddling with me. He comes to my bed, I make space under the blanket and he sleeps on my hand as his pillow. And when I wake up in the morning, if he is awake he gives me the most beautiful smile. That’s my morning routine; To wake up and find him smiling.

Yesterday morning, he was sleeping on my hand pillow as usual and I asked him to move. My hand was hurting and so I told him he could go play. Instead, he asks me, “Amma, remove your hand”. I move my hand and he goes to sleep on the pillow directly instead and tells me, “I still want to sleep next to you, Amma”. ๐Ÿ™‚

The other day, I was full asleep. I know Abhi was up; he was poking my nose, trying to open my eyes. ๐Ÿ™‚ Finally, he gets up to go play and before he leaves, gives me a sweet little kiss on my cheek and walks away. ๐Ÿ™‚

I can’t stop going aww on my morning routine with Abhi. I so wish Achu was more cuddly too. But she is pretty happy snuggling with her blankets. ๐Ÿ™‚

***

Just this last weekend, when we were out shopping, Abhi was running around and fell down. He scraped both his knees pretty bad. This one, actually, was the biggest scrape he got, needing biggest band aids etc. You and I might feel bad about kids getting hurt, but kids actually are fascinated about getting band-aids. I mean, we don’t even have the fancy ones, still. This time, I had Abhi sitting in my lap, I was trying to clean him up and instead of caring for the pain, he was comparing his scrape to the one Achu got last time, discussing with Achu, which one was bigger. All of us surrounding him were worried because this looked like a bad one, with more blood etc, but he wanted to know if he was getting band-aids and if his hurt was bigger.

I couldn’t stop smiling that time over silly things kids to. He is better now, still has his bandages.

***

While we call kids Abhi and Achu at home, they also have various other names. Murali calls Achu, Lalli. Sometime back it was Chikki. Now I call her Chikki too. I also call her Achamma, Achu Talli. Achu Kanna. I think I may have forgotten half of the names already. I also use the same names for Abhi. I call him Abhi Kanna. And one day he decided to call me back Amma Kanna. I was so amazed. I mean, I know kids love me, but when they decide to show that love even in tiny form, I feel so amazing. It’s not just the words he uses, but the way he calls is special too. He is the only one who has pet names for me.

He also calls me Ammi. Possibly because it rhymes with Abhi. “Abhi, Ammi – ย Best friends”, he says. ๐Ÿ™‚ Recently I started also calling him “Chinna Babu”. Which means “Small kid”. I think I was trying to remind myself that despite all the complains I get that he doesn’t listen, he is just a small kid and he doesn’t have to listen. So I call him that and made up a song for him calling him “Chinna babu. Cutie babu”. Now he asks me to sing that song for him. He loves to hear me say those words to him.

All this love and the way he cuddles and hugs me all the time, I sure hope he will do that for a long time. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Picture Post

Because I am so overdue on my blogging and I need to write something quick and easy, I will do a picture post today. ๐Ÿ™‚

This one because it shows our sunny shiny summer weather, and also Abhi’s necklace. Abhi made this shell necklace on a knitting thread, with help from Murali and he wore it for the longest time. He didn’t take it off for days. He lost it when the thread finally wore out and broke. But he looked so damn cute with his shell necklace. ๐Ÿ™‚

IMG_0109

Here are my little kiddos having a chat in the front porch. I have a yellow rocking chair, and I painted a tiny lilac colored rocking chair for them, still my yellow chair is their favorite.

IMG_0369Achu is obsessed with her treasure box. This was something she hung on to for days. She still hates to wash her hair. Giving her a headย  path is big challenge for us. But when she finally does, I put her in this koppu sometimes and that’s my reward looking at that cute head. ๐Ÿ™‚ Here she is calming down after a crying session, with help from her treasure.

IMG_0676Kids come up with the weirdest stuff. We were dining at P’s house and kids came up with this motorcycle cum sleeping station.

IMG_0687

One another treasure collection from Achu.

IMG_0703

I really love how kiddos have picked up on their reading skills. While they have so many other distractions, reading always calms them down. Here is my little gal reading on her own, sitting for some reason in the middle of the play room.

IMG_0796

One thing I wish we were doing better is with taking kids biking. We don’t give them the opportunity much, taking two bikes in our tiny car to a flat place where they can bike without distractions is a hassle for us. Hopefully next months will be different.

But when we can, we use the garage to make space for them to bike.

IMG_0822

Summer time is also about carnival rides. As kids grow up, they are continuing to show interest in rides. And I love the rides too. So I am glad. Achu is more into rides now. This one below was at their little friend Y’s birthday party. I took all the three kids on the rides. While Abhi and Y were scared and wanted me to slow down, Achu wouldn’t want to slow down. Later on, I took her on this ride again, just she and me. I got almost dizzy with how fast we went. She and I both just loved it.

We were at another Summer carnival just last weekend, and I got to go on a ride with my dad. Kids did their own too. Abhi tried Bungee Jumping (more like a bigger trampoline ๐Ÿ™‚ ). Achu went on a big-ish ride, all by herself. At some point during the ride, she actually looked bored. She looks ready for more.

IMG_0849IMG_0876

Did I mention how much we love reading? We definitely don’t do enough of it anyway, but when we do, we love it. This one was one hot weekend, we settled in the backyard and read books.

IMG_1014

Yeah, talk about silly things kids do. One of my summer goals was to go on as many walks as I can with kiddos. Last week, I said let’s go for a walk and Abhi heard that as – Lets pack our school bags, books and toys and go on an exploring camp. Achu tagged along in the same way, of course. So I took them on a little trail instead of our regular route, and they pretended to collect random things. At some point during the walk, Achu was walking on the trail with her school bag on the back, reading a book. Right. Walking is when you read books. ๐Ÿ™‚

IMG_1034

We celebrated Tatha’s another birthday this month. Just two years ago, my parents were here and we got to repeat it this year.

IMG_1049

Tattadadaaaaaaaa.. Look at our new toy. An inflatable pool for kiddos (and adults too. ๐Ÿ™‚ ) Kids love it. And have been playing games, slides, cooking shows in the pool, every other day. Here they are making water-angels. Thats how I get Achu to get wet. Otherwise, she would be in the pool, the whole time and not get wet at all.

IMG_1177