Okay. First day of the new year. If any resolutions are made for the new year, they must be written on day one. So, here I am writing this down. I have been going over my list in my head for couple of days now. In some ways, it should be obvious, but there is no way I can get all the things I should have on my list accomplished, so here goes the realistic ones.
- Me and me is my first focus this year. To take better care of myself. To eat healthy and better. To exercise. Two days on the treadmill and two days of hot yoga is my goal. I want to also focus on looking better. Last month is the only time this year I took time to get ready and tried new clothes. I don’t care how I really looked or what anybody thought, but I felt so good. I don’t know why I don’t take time for myself, but I should.
- Last year, I started reading some self-help materials. Mindfulness; How to live in the moment; How to not worry about future today, etc. Because one of the big problems with me is that I let worrying about next day ruin my today. It happens every day, every weekend, every time. Even the last three weeks of my vacation, was not without ‘return to work’ and ‘what’s happening at work’ thoughts. But I got to end it. This adds up to my list of problems and puts me into very bad shape. I don’t spend time with kids, I don’t eat, I can’t sleep. It’s just a mess. Although I found some help, but I lost the process for last couple of days and it was bad. I don’t know how I will do this, but I need to let work bother me less. Especially when I am not working. I also almost wanted to say I want to take it easy at work, but I don’t see that happening.
- I went on one proper hike in 2016. With kiddos, we started some mini hikes last year too, but only one proper hike. For somebody who enjoys mountains so much, it’s too bad I didn’t put this on my list last year. Well, at least now it is on the list. The one PERFECT hike I went on last year was with my good friend V and now he is hooked too. He has been asking me non-stop about going on hikes. And so I have a buddy. One hike a month is not unrealistic, I hope.
- Read. One book a month. One chapter a night. Not too much. I know. But when you come home, cook, clean, feed kids and go back to working until late night, it is a problem.
- One of my big triggers of bad mental state is when we don’t travel or don’t take trips. More than a year ago, Murali and I decided we would do one big trip and one small trip in a year. We did go to San Diego, but I also wanted to make Hawaii trip happen, but it didn’t. With ‘work life’ such huge part of our lives, I can’t wait for that one big trip to happen. We need to travel more. Even if it’s a weekend trip. I am sure we can make this work. If we want to. That being said, we are taking a trip this month for a three-day long weekend we have. Hope that will be good and hope this tradition will continue.
- To write more. Another very wrong thing with me is that I always remember bad things more than good. Unless, I write here. Blogging is not just something nice to have but is necessary to me. Lot of good things have happened in the last year, and without a record on this blog, they all might be lost. So to write more about our trips, our activities, both good and bad. I don’t really want this to be a happy blog. But also as a means to get me through whatever I am going through.
- Kids. Not low on my priority of course. But I need to focus more on them. And again its my work that blocks me. Work is such a big part of my life. I guess it is for everybody, and I wish there was a way for it to be not. But I can’t let it make me do whats minimally necessary for kids. I have so many hopes and ambitions for raising them. To make their childhood beautiful. To feed them proper healthy meals and to spend more time with them. That break I have been dreaming of, is this year. Summer of late summer. I need to do it.
- Most important of all. To find my cheerleader. To be my cheerleader. Except for BFF, I have no person I can count on when I need help. And having her thousands of miles away doesn’t really help sometimes. Murali is all lost in his own world. Has no intention of being there for me. My relationship with my parents has been rocky since my last India trip and as a recent believer of dont-mention-ugly-things, I can’t completely reconcile with them and of course, they wouldn’t either. Even otherwise, that avenue is closed. I do my shopping alone. V is kind of helpful with work stuff. BFF with personal. But I would LOVE to have that person in my life whom I could tell everything under the sky and be cheered up. Be responded with some sane words to get me out of that depression. Despite being so exhaustively busy, I feel lonely most of the times. Work and personal stuff, if I can’t find my cheerleader, I need to be mine. TED talks and more self-help material it is to help me help myself,I guess. But really, in this whole big world, cant I have one person that can be mine?
- Swimming. Self-defense. Violin. Pick two. Any two. And just do it. None of these are rocket science. And its been ages they have stayed on the list. Just do it.
Happy New Year to all. May we all find strength to follow through on our resolutions and be surrounded by love, happiness and good health. 🙂