The Crib Post

So very aptly titled one.

I took off work, a whole week last week. Idea was that kids are going to school starting tomorrow. Life will get into crazy mode. Parents will leave soon. So I thought I would just take a week off, relax, maybe go somewhere and do something fun. I know how much fun my last vacation was, so I tried to make another one. Hmm. I have officially decided that I am ‘vacation-cursed’. It means even if I take some time off, I wont be able to enjoy it. And you know, at least three different occasions, I was told by my mom and nanny that kids are crying more because I am around. That was asking me to get out of my own home and not be there. See the curse on my head? I cannot go out. I cannot stay home. So, I actually locked myself in a room and binge watched Netflix. That turned out to be not so bad.

I almost got into a car accident last week. I was turning my car to get onto the road and I also saw this car turn on the road behind me, from another street. That guy just joined the road and there was no way he should come so fast and find my car in his way. But that’s what exactly happened. He came so fast that by the time I turned, he was right behind me. He honked so hard and I was thinking, ‘Dude, you cannot honk because someone slowed down your shiny red convertible’. Well, lucky for me, the shiny red convertible has good brakes and so an accident was avoided. But you know what, normally I think coming that close to an accident would have bothered me, but this time I was so indifferent. I was like whatever. Given my situation, I really didn’t think that car accident could have made it any worse. I was also thinking that it would have been a distraction for me.

Guess what new crap I have to take this time? Sarcastic comments, hints and remarks that don’t make any sense from my parents. Apparently both of them are trying to fix something, but only they are doing it in the wrong way and for the wrong reason. Imagine after years of trying, I give up on few things, sit silently and mind my business, no expectations, no arguing anything and I get told that I am not doing my wife duties. Really? Do you know how hard it is for some person like me to give up? But then when I finally do I get criticized for giving up. I almost wanted to yell yesterday that I am not the one who needs to take the blame and of course, I didn’t. I shut up and ignored all the comments like I learnt to.

Two different people have told me in the last two-ish years that I have become so angrier. People close to me, who have seen in both my lifes (that’s what I call my pre and post wedding times). And I am not denying that. I can’t tell you how true it is. I know what I was those years ago and I know what I am now. I also know the reason why I am turning into this. Not that I can help it. I realized I am holding onto so many complaints and feelings inside my head; Not getting closure on anything. Giving up on way too many things. Being lonely and confused. Forgetting what I wanted and taking new crap. All this I thought I was shutting it inside, but only until the bubble bursts. I feel so angry inside and yet try to suck up so bad, that when I reach my threshold, I have to literally stop myself from throwing that cup or laptop or phone. I have to take all that frustration out somehow. And it better be a cup than me from the top of a mountain. I just want to run. I really do.

I was listening on radio last week, about a prisoner who committed something really bad, didn’t really realize his mistake after getting convicted for it. Not even after getting into prison. Not even after serving his term. Almost end of his term, he was in this class where they had to write what they did (that was a for a Broadway play, AFAIR). That is when it hit him. That’s when he realized what wrong he did. Point I am trying to make, writing is powerful. So, why can’t I write the heck out of everything and just get over it? Why do I keep saying to myself, ‘That’s it, that is enough for now. Don’t write anything anymore’? ‘No, not that one, Nope. Not writing it’. Why? Isn’t it better to be done with it once than carry it over and over and never find any closure? How is that even after writing this much, I don’t feel any better?

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That Awesome Thing

So, how could I do something so awesome in life and feel so awesome and not write about it for two months? Ahh. Life is crazy. Well, to get to the crazy part, I will first finish writing about the awesome part.

I don’t remember when was the first time I came across this awesome thing called Skydiving but it has been on my bucket list for a long time. It’s just one of those things that is doable but I didn’t have the guts to go ahead and make the booking. So, this year when the chance came I took it.

It was supposed to be a gift, but things didn’t work out the way at all I planned. Morning of the jump, I woke up and was thinking about what I was going to do that day. It was going to be a dream come true. Something that I wanted to do for a long long time. something awesome. Something that everyone thinks is awesome. But then there was this emptiness and a feeling that it wasn’t going to be what I planned like it should be. It just wasn’t going to be. I knew it already. And I was in no way happy or excited about the jump. But then I kept thinking. This was something that was very important for my life, because it was the one thing that I am truly doing for myself. Something different than my work-kids life. For myself truly. To prove to me that I could do something different and awesome and feel something really really awesome. And that’s when I decided that I will just do this for myself that day. What was going to happen that day wouldn’t bother me. I needed this really.

Like I thought, it didn’t go at all the way I had hoped. It would have been so much disappointment if it wasn’t for my decision in the morning to do it for myself. Like I hoped, I tried not to let anything bother me. And I proudly accomplished my first skydiving jump.

Okay. Enough of the drama. I had to write all that despite not wanting to write all that because of my current state of mind. If my life was different now, my post would have actually started here. So, if you are still reading, thank you. 🙂

So, there is this place very near to where we live that offers the skydiving. Process is simple. This is tandem skydiving. That means I will jump attached to a experienced skydiving instructor. The training was really minimal. Honestly, the wait was the killing part of the jump. Getting into the suit felt so good already; I was getting little excited then. Later, I was actually getting worried because I wasn’t feeling anything scared at all. I was like why I am not getting scared. 🙂 I was worried a bit about throwing up or fainting on the jump. My blood pressure was little up probably. But that’s it. 🙂

Finally, the time came. My instructor asked me if I was okay to be the first one to jump off the plane. I didn’t plan for it, but it turned out to be one of the awesome things of the trip. Once we boarded the small plane, we would all be in seated position, position in which we would jump and I was like really really next to the door. Right next to the door. And you know that door wasn’t even closed until the plane took off. I was getting equally excited and tensed by the minute. But I look at my video and I was just smiling ear to ear. I guess I do that when I am both tensed and excited at the same time. There was a guy sitting in front of me, facing me, he was going to jump solo and he was looking at me all the time. He must have thought I was crazy. After a while, I was still smiling and he told me that I was going to do great and I look like I will have lots of fun. I think he was just being courteous but he was right. It was so much excitement.

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Views from the plane

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So, in about five minutes (or longer, I can’t tell. I did feel like it took forever 🙂 ), plane door was opened again. And there it was. The open sky. Nothing to step on. Just open sky. It was a beautiful beautiful day, not a trace of cloud and so the views were amazing. Crystal clear. That moment I still wasn’t worried, but I totally forgot all the training I received. LOL. Well, that’s what the instructors are for right. Then, I was in position to jump, all tightly buckled up to the instructor and that one moment, we moved forward, we didn’t jump yet, my instructor was still sitting in the plane and we moved forward right, I was literally hanging from the plane. Not sitting, nothing under me. That hanging from the plane, I don’t know if it was intentional, but it was so awesome. That moment, I think I just realized that and before I could savor it any further, we jumped. That’s when it hit me. Oh. I am still smiling and laughing now when I think of that moment. It was amazing. Just amazing. The feeling that there is nothing under my feet, the rush of air, the scenery in front. More than all that, the rush, the jump. Oh, so amazing. SO AMAZING. I can’t explain it any further, except for including a zillion smileys here. 🙂 You hear the word free fall all the time, but only when you experience it, you will know what it means 🙂

The free fall lasts for seconds before the parachute opens again. That’s the few seconds of the jump. Rest of it all is all very controlled by the parachute. Once the chute opens, we stabilize and can control where we go, slow down, enjoy the scenery more and all. That few seconds of free fall, that feeling, is all, I needed. Ahh. I just can’t write anymore. I wish you all were there. 🙂

After that we moved back to the take off grounds and made landing over there. The parachute pull was so hard that once we landed, my instructor was asking me to stand up and I just fell down. I was so excited I couldn’t even keep myself in standing position. That was so awesome.

I got the jump recorded. I didn’t know that the air pressure would be so high that I wouldn’t actually be able to close my mouth. Or I was in total phase of excitement that I didn’t bother to close my mouth, I can’t tell. But my whole free fall video looks like I was am trying to eat all the air while I jump. Hahah .

Hanging. Can you tell?
Hanging. Can you tell?
Just Jumped. :)
Just Jumped. 🙂

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11424446_10153517692583968_7788056603051673227_oOne of my two regrets for the day was not jumping with my friend V. He got me so excited about the trip, giving me tips from days before the jump. What to do, what not to do etc. I wish if he were there and we jumped together, we would have danced right after we landed. It would have been so much fun to celebrate the jump with someone, you know, not just clapping hands all by myself, like a little girl. Hahha. My second regret was not having my dad sending off and receiving me. This trip was a total surprise to my parents. My mom had no clue, I told my dad couple of days ago, but I was worried, he would see the disappointments that day and I didn’t include him in the trip. Had he been there sending me off to the plane and receiving me, his face expressions would have been so so so so so awesome. I got to see that excitement when I played the video for my parents. My mom was so bummed that I did it and my dad was, just like me, smiling ear to ear, so happy. So happy. 🙂

I promised him, I will do the jump again, when he is watching. My parents are so interesting. My mom wants me to never step on that skydiving place again. And my dad wants me to train to be a skydiving instructor. Made for each other, right? 🙂 🙂 Anyway, my dad’s face and excitement made it all better for that day and I lived on cloud nine for couple of hours. I deserved that.

The whole experience was just so amazing. I cant tell if it was the jump or being the first to jump or the free-fall. I cant decide what was more awesome. Just writing down the whole thing makes me feel awesome again. That’s proof enough that skydiving was awesome. If that still does not convince you, see how many times I used the word awesome in this post. That should do it 🙂

I still can’t believe that I finally did check an item off my bucket list of things to do. I can’t recollect much what else is on my list but to be able to do this and experience what I did just feels amazing. The phase of life now, is not very exciting and I kind of think that I have nothing else that I want to do anymore but I hope I am wrong. I have to think about it again when or if I feel better. There is the half-dome hiking dream. I hope that can be the next. 🙂

The One With A Margarita And Face Painting

Is it just me or does everyone feel like there is only one more month of livable weather left? True. Only one more month. After that its going to be back to cloudy days, non-stop rains and thick heavy jackets. Sigh. I am going to miss summer. So much. This summer was much better than the last one. Thanks to us, determined to make our summer days count (Hmm, although I should say we could have done a much better job too).

Anyway, kids start school the first day of September, I am trying not to think about it. It’s not a happy thought. God knows how that day or weeks after that will go. I will deal with it when the day comes.

So, back to our summer weekends, last week included a trip to the Zoo. Funny story, our first trip to the zoo was last year.That was the first time we transitioned Abhi and Achu to forward facing big convertible car seats and they enjoyed the ride very well. We went to the zoo on a very hot day. I remember Achu fell asleep in the stroller, Abhi cried for ice-cream later and by the time ice-cream arrived, he slept too. Achu kind of got lost for few seconds. It was my first time and it’s always a scary thought, even though you know she is probably right around that wall.

This time, I made sure to not do the trip on a hot day. It’s difficult to move around in that open place on a hot day. This day wasn’t too hot for us, but still was so for all the animals. We never saw the tiger, nor the lion. All that we saw of the hippo was its rear and top of the head. It stayed fully immersed in water, refusing to come out (can’t blame it. Poor thing). But we did some nice animals. By seeing, I mean, Abhi and Achu saw those animals while I watched their happy faces. That’s actually why I think I go to a zoo. 🙂

Oh! The highlight of our trip – face paints. Yep. Abhi and Achu’s first time, getting face-paints. The most awesome thing about getting face painted is Abhi and Achu sitting really really quietly, completely cooperating. I mean, how many times do you see kids, sitting that quietly, right? Well, for some thing like face painting, they would. Because that’s what they want, right? You should have seen them. Didn’t move a muscle. 🙂 After the painting was done, Abhi and Achu were handed mirrors. Abhi was so cute rolling his eyes to the right to see the painting on his cheek. Achu looked like she couldn’t believe she got one. Abhi got the spider and web. Achu got the gold fish.

Last year, we also saw the two elephants Chai and Bamboo. I mention that because, this year they are gone. Moved to a bigger and better place. And for some reason, Achu kept asking to see elephants and there were none in the zoo now.

Rest of the trip was very nice too. We did the photo booth family picture again. This time didn’t come out that well. Last year, Abhi was in panic mode. This year, he decided to cover others faces with his hands. So, there are four bodies and less number of heads in the picture.

One thing that makes this summer better than before is when I realize how grown-up Abhi and Achu are, compared to the last year. Currently, we are at the phase, where Achu is the brave one. She wants to go everywhere, try everything else. She did the same in zoo, as well and I let her roam the way she wanted. We were at this bald eagle exhibit and she asked the trainer lady what the name of the bird was. She even asked why the eagle was blind and etc. Feels good to see my little gal not show any inhibitions. Because until few months ago, she was. Which, by the way, Abhi is doing now. I don’t get too worried about it. They both have been alternating through phases, ever since they were born. I know Abhi will come around pretty soon.

Zoo is a special place for me, personally too. This was one of the places we visited, before I got married, with some of my best friends. We were here for work then, temporarily and we had such a blast on this trip. I remember these monkey bars, we took all our monkey pictures. Golden days of my life. Before we were heading home for that day, we played some game in the grass and on the way home, I realized I lost my gold chain. Another reason, I wont forget the zoo trip. 🙂

Oh wait, weekend update is not done yet. Remember, I mentioned Margarita. So, I want to declare it, here,  officially that my favorite drink is Margarita. Then beer and only then wine. Murali and I headed out to a nearby pub. Last time, I grabbed a Bloody Mary here. My first time and I did not like it. It was too strong for me. This time I ordered a Margarita and I loved it. Loved the whole outing too. The same day, I went and shopped for some summer dresses (Remember I mentioned, I cannot fit into any more of my last years dresses 😦 ). Murali and my parents along with kids went to temple and he asked me to be ready by the time they came back (So temple first and then a pub next, was the plan. Hihih.) So, I wore my new dress and was all ready. It felt so good to take some special me time and focus on getting ready. Otherwise, it’s all like, put on some clothes, stare at the mirror to make sure I am actually wearing one and then head out with crazy kids. 🙂 Anyway, it was a very fun outing. I came back home little dizzy, little drunk. I turn very childish and free when I am drunk. Thankfully its a happy phase for me. 🙂 I decided it was fun to scream in the car. For no reason. It was fun. 🙂

After our not-so good, birthday trip to the beach, I was kinda thinking that I would never head out the home with kids again. But, I changed my mind during this evening. It may have been the Margarita in me, we decided to accept that even if future outing with kids will be like what-happened on the beach trip (honestly, I can’t imagine why I was disappointed knowing it wouldn’t be perfect), we need to continue the trips. So, we shook hands on doing a week-long trip again during the Winter. Cabot or Cancun, it was going to be. Last week, I was thinking Hawaii. Today, I thought, forget about it. So, don’t know what will happen but at least the thought of being by the beach in Cancun was a really good one. 🙂

Fun On A Very Hot Day

End of June, we celebrated one year of moving into our new home. Yeah, I had a post to write about, but I didn’t. Seriously, I need some motivation and time and energy to get back to blogging better. Anyway, we didn’t celebrate as in celebrate, but I at least remembered that for over a week. One thing that I constant feel is that we did buy house at the right time. Right time for us, I mean. Kids have so much space to play and run around. Nice parks around. Plus our wonderful backyard.

Ever since the summer started, we had plenty of good moments in the backyard. There was the time we all did some gardening, picking out the weeds. And then we put our play tent in the backyard and did some evening camping. And then daddy and I played some badminton letting Abhi and Achu be the bird boy and bird girl. That means, each time the bird fell down, they would run on the grass, pick it up and give it to us. We even assigned them spaces. Give our badminton talent, kids were running lot and got some serious exercise 🙂

Here is our bird gal. That spot next to the blue ball was her spot to run to after she handed over the bird to us.

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Last weekend was different kind of fun. And this was the most fun I had in a long time. It was a super hot day and we were going to head to the usual splash place which kids love and get all wet, but seeing that they were too cranky after their nap, we decided to do all the splashing in the backyard. It was the best idea ever. 🙂 Because it was not just kids who got all drenched, Murali, my dad and I did too. Seriously, the fun thing I did in a long time.

It started out with a bucket of water filled out and two little cups handed to Abhi and Achu. We were going to let them get all wet, but, they decided to get us wet. Little cups of water were picked up and dumped on Murali and me. They did take turns though but Murali ended up getting the most wet.

But then that was over quickly. Where is the fun in getting only a little wet. Always go big right? And so the pipe was turned on. Every body was wet top to bottom. Kids enjoyed the most, trying to run away from the water and then again running into it. Our whole garden was wet. Some much needed water for the grass I know, given that this year we decided not to water our backyard. I have good such pictures of everybody wet. Oh! It was just so much fun. Whoever had the pipe literally ran behind the rest, chasing and getting them wet. It was really a hot day and this cold water was so good on us.

After all the running around, apparently, kids were tired, so they went back to their bucket; resting their legs in it. But then fun was not over yet. Next up was the sprinkler run. And seriously, I am very against wasting water (which is why we are not watering backyard this year) but man, I could do this every day. Trying to run through it, feeling that water force on you, so awesome.

Abhi decided to not just get wet around the sprinkler, but to run, exactly in the middle. And everybody followed. They would run through the sprinkler, go all around the big plant and then into the sprinkler again. We were all laughing so much that I am sure our neighbors noticed all the fun. 🙂

I cannot pick which pictures to best, each is the best to me and so, here are many of them.

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Here is wishing for more and more hot days. 🙂