Awwww

During my rush hour mornings, I get ready and come downstairs to leave for work. Achu tells me in the most sweetest tone, “Nice dress Amma”.

After skipping lunch for some reason, I feel so hungry and tired by the time I put the kids to sleep. I carry a cup of Yoplait with me to eat while Abhi and Achu sleep. Abhi tells me, “Good job Amma”.

At the dining table, eating a snack, I randomly pick some gibberish word and say it to Abhi and Achu in different tones “Sappa Sappa Sappa”, I get to see plenty and plenty and plenty of adorable laughs back from them.

“Abhi, who is your best friend?”, we ask and we are told, “Ron weasley” (From Harry Potter)

“Achu, what do you want to be when you grow up?”, I ask. I am told, “Spider”

I take out my phone for something, I get asked by Achu, “Amma, take my photo”

Nanny’s kid is running around. She is asking him to go do her homework. Now, even he gets to hear from Achu, “R,  Do ur homework”.

We are at the pet store when Abhi spots some dirt on the floor. I get told, “Amma kean it”. (clean)

Some where else, Achu spots something dirty and is shouting at her loudest voice, “Dirty dusty….Dirty dusty..”. She is told by Abhi, “Achu, Its okay Achu. Amma will kean it”. (clean)

(Looks like I have signed a contract to cleanup the whole world)

Nanna comes home and settles down on the couch. He gets asked by Achu, “Nanna, Are you tied” (tired). “Do you want to sheep?” (sleep).

Awwwwwww!

Friday

Last Friday, we had some team event in the afternoon. Miles away, in the mountains, we were having a picnic. Sounded like fun. But, for the last few years, I have been the least excited about going to these. Because I don’t have good company (Also goes with my issue of not making any new friends at work in a long time). Anyway, I had to go to this one. Only I didn’t.  I decided to skip it. Friday morning, I had my regular chat with Vaks. She urged me to go and when I told her what my alternate plan was, she said she was okay with the alternate plan. I had been thinking about this all week, but, you know, Vaks finally telling me that I don’t have to go made me happy. It was like its decided now. No more wavering 🙂 (That’s why you need good friends. They make the call and make you super happy even if it was a wrong choice. 🙂 ).

So, that afternoon, instead of  making it to the team event, I decided to go meet a friend who was in town, visit the parlor, of course, do some home décor shopping (one thing I want to do everyday 🙂 ) and then watch a movie with Murali. After our morning meetings, I came back to my desk and kept feeling bad about how I am working blah blah. All my worries. Only this time, I decided to do something. All that I had to do then was write some documentation. So I decided to give it a start and do something. Naturally, I cancelled some of my plans and worked until late afternoon to finish the documentation. What I have done was nothing great, nothing mentionable or important, but it at least was something I did. That’s it. Nothing more that. (I cant believe I am being happy about what I have done. This small. Sigh!).

Anyway, I booked our tickets for a movie at the theatre for the afternoon. Now, Mr. Murali gave me some reasons to smile. When I was making the reservations, I was going to do that at the expensive theatre (the one where they serve food too) and with all our recent expenses, I wasn’t sure if I should. I pinged and asked him and Murali said, ‘Absolutely’. For some reason, I thought he wouldn’t be in favor of it so I was very pleasantly surprised. I smiled more when he said he wanted us to have a good time and that’s it. 🙂 I made the reservations and skipped lunch, planning to eat happily while watching the movie. I planned to shop a bit before heading to the theatre, but I was late talking to my team about the work. So I cancelled the shopping trip and leisurely headed to the theatre. I got the tickets and then Murali joined (separate cars, right. I still cant get used to it that we drive to and away from the same place in two cars. We need to coordinate better).

More fun in the theatre. We were watching Guardians of the Galaxy. A kind of movie I love. Sci-fi, fiction, aliens etc etc. Add to that, movie was really funny. We laughed a lot. We ended up ordering more food again and yes, we emptied all of it. Forget all the diet checks, I ate all those tater tots and emptied a bag of popcorn, and then coke 🙂 . I realize its not the food I like, but the experience of eating food while watching movie in a nice theatre. Last time we did this, I loved it too. We headed home after the movie as we were running late for another event.

Sushma had called me in the morning to invite us to a Pooja at her home. Its the Sravana masam and all the holy Fridays and Poojas going on. We don’t have the concept of this vratam at home, so I didn’t do anything special (not that I would have otherwise). But I like just offering my prayers when I can. For the last two Fridays, I was also invited to the Pooja at other friends houses, but I skipped. My answer to their invite was no even before they invited me. The reason being that I hate being around people who judge; who think we have sucking lifestyle and that kids make us exhausted 24*7. Especially the judging thing. Once I go to their place, it will be all about how lavish their Pooja was , what they wear, what they cooked, and how I didn’t do any of that. How I am not wearing MangalSutra.. blah blah blah. That’s why my solution is avoid those people. With Sushma, I had no such issues. So Murali and I went home, got the kids ready and headed to their place for a very nice chat and Pooja. Achu, as usual was acting like a innocent girl. Abhi had fun exploring the new toys. We got home around kids sleep time.

One thing I am trying and failing is trying to stick to a routine. With kids, when we promise to go somewhere we are always getting late. Just like going to Sushma’s home that day, we arrived on time, but Achu ran around so much taking so  much time to wear her dress. By the time we were ready and sitting in the car seat, Abhi had pooped. So, I had to go change him and we were more delayed. I know with kids its tough, but I think we should start try get back into the schedule we can. Sticking onto time is one thing we should teach kids.

So, I spent the rest of my night, watching TV. It may sound like just a normal day, but it was much better than that. I know because, when I went home after the movie and after we came back from the Pooja, I was very relaxed and energized. Not feeling exhausted at all. That’s kind of thing that I love these days. 🙂

Worries

Life is not good at the moment. Its full of worries, headaches, heartburns, tensions and sleepless hours. Its been like this for few days now. I was hoping it would get better, but it wont. I know its only going to get tough.

At work, I got assigned to this big project that needs to be done like yesterday. On top of that I know NOTHING about what I have to do, so there is so much learning. Others are already well caught up and its going to take a while for me to catchup. But the problem is I was introduced to the team as someone who knows everything about what I was supposed to do. And of course its not true. Why does someone do this to me? You know, this is the second time this happened to me. Last time, I moved to a new team, everyone, literally EVERYONE was told that I am awesome and blah blah blah. That sets such bad expectations with people. I don’t know about others but I cannot be that awesome as soon as I start doing something. I need my time to settle down, learn. I cant rest until I know what I am doing, I have a good grasp and having this expectation on top of it only makes my life worse. Just like last time, this time too, I have been going to meetings, making a fool of myself obviously because I don’t know everything like others expect me to. Its only making my life worse. Last two days, I forced myself to sleep because I am awake, I will have to think and worry about all these things. I can hardly focus on what I need to do. Even leaving all that expectation headache, this is a pretty big thing I need to do. Not something I have done before and its killing me. I have no clue, whatsoever. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I have so much to prove. And such less talent. It also seems like I am not that smart anymore. I see others well caught-up and I am not. Obviously its all my fault.

All of a sudden, I am longing for those winter days, when my work was good and all settled; I knew what I was doing and spending good times with Abhi and Achu. Now, not anymore. Because I am worried all the time. It doesn’t help, I know. But, I cant help; I cant do anything else.

Murali knows little or something about this. And yesterday he asked me how can he help. I should have told him what he could really do, but I didn’t. He could fix us. Like him and me. Long before the work headache began, something that has been very bothering me is our relationship. We work during the day, we go home and we hardly speak five sentences to each other. Sometimes not even that. You can see how much that sucks. Oh, we speak a lot to Abhi and Achu, but not to each other. Then we eat, we sleep. Sure I can blame the kids and all the work for lack of time and energy for doing this, but I know its not the reason. I don’t even think he knows that this sucks. I would take time to fix it but with the work worries, I don’t have any more energy to try fix this (again).

Wait. There is more. Guess what happened last Sunday evening? I give kids bath, make their dinner, took bath myself. I was getting ready to feed Abhi and Achu their dinner and water starts dripping off the ceiling. Imagine my horror when I already feel dead because of above two worries. It stopped after a while. Turns out there was a leak in the bathroom above and it seeped in. One day of scare, $400 to figure that out and I am still worried. I knew these things are common, but if something like this happened just one month after we moved in, I fear what’s in store for us. More scared because I know that damn good luck has never been on our side. So, yayyyy! one more worry to kill me.

I go home from work, try to forget all these things and play with Abhi, Achu. But I can tell how bothering it is to me. Even more, trying to forget it isn’t going to help either. I will leave the other two for now. I think I already did. But the work front is just killing me. And its only going to get worse.

 

Do Anything But …..

“Amma, Diaper is full Amma. Change my diaper Amma”.

“Amma, Abhi is scared Amma. Amma, There is a bug ere Amma” (here).

“AHH. AHHH. AHH. BLANKET, DONT COME HERE. BLANKET, GO AWAY BLANKET. AMMA, BLANKET AMMA”.

“Amma, Abhi wants to sleep on the bed Amma”.

“Amma, Bed is all wet Amma. Achu’s Pant is all wet, Amma”.

“Amma, Achu wants to lie down on the bed Amma”.

“Amma, bug is coming Amma. Bug is coming”.

“Amma, pider amma…pider..pider”. (Spider)

“Amma, Abhi’s leg is tuck Amma. Ishi Ishi Amma” (stuck).

“Amma, do pillow bye-bye Amma”.

“Amma, Achu’s blanket is missing Amma”.

“Don’t go Amma. Don’t go. Don’t go.”

“Amma, where are you Amma? Where are you?”

“Amma, Turn the light on, Amma”.

“Amma, What happened to light Amma?”

“Abhi wants to come out”

“Achu wants to come out”

“Amma, Abhi needs a ug Amma” (hug)

“Gimme good night kiss Amma”

“Abhi is so scared Amma… Soooooooo scared”

“Amma… Don’t sit Amma. Lie Down”.

“Amma.. Don’t lie down Amma.. Sit..”

…. That is what Abhi and Achu try to do to get away from sleeping in the crib.

Caught You

After we moved to our new home, our one car sharing setup wasn’t working any more. Murali works from like 6 to 6. I can only leave home between 9-10 in the morning. Back in the apartment, he used to take bus in the morning and we would carpool together on our way back home. This setup was working well (for me), so we kept postponing getting a second car. After moving to our new home, Murali couldn’t take the bus that early in the morning and so, he looked and looked and bought a new car. I told Murali we should name our two cars. He hasn’t responded yet, so I went and picked “Babli and Dabli”. (“Pintoo and Chintoo”  (Only when spelled with oo ) was another option). Here, presenting Dabli. (If Dabli means something bad in your language, let me know. I will still keep it. But it will give me a chance to tease Murali about his car)

I get Babli, the BMW. Babli and I travel to work and back,  music all loaded, volume to the max, and all by ourselves now. No other company allowed.

♦♦♦

So, yesterday evening, before heading home Murali agreed to eat chat with (It’s a big deal he making time, let me tell you). So unlike earlier times, we both took our cars, reached the chat place. After we were done there, I mentioned I wanted to go do some decor shopping. Murali joined. We both drove to the store in his car and by the time we came back to chat place to pickup my car, it was getting late. We had to reach home in 30 minutes for nanny to leave. So, here is where the fun began. I asked Murali since there would be traffic, should I call nanny and tell her that we are going to be a little late. His answer, and I quote, “No. No. I  will reach before then”. Strongly emphasizing on I. You know what that means right! That he can go and not me. Hmm. Challenge accepted.

Murali took off, leaving me at my car. When I was reversing my car, some stupid uncle was waiting very close with his car (for the parking spot) and I had to go the opposite way, drive around the parking lot and get on the road. I crossed two intersections, took the freeway, made all the way to the left most speed lane and kept driving, looking for Murali. Few more minutes into the drive, what do I see? Aha! A Prius car. Same color as ours in front of me.  Ooh! I started laughing. I haven’t noticed what our registration plate was yet, so I couldn’t confirm. (Honestly, I was first thinking who is this slowing me down 🙂 ). I kept laughing and looking for signs and I finally see Murali in the side mirror, looking at me, also laughing. Haha! Victory moment. I beat him. How dare he says he can reach early. More than that, how dare he thinks I can’t reach early. Right! I was laughing out loud, sitting alone in the car. Whoever saw me would have thought that I went mad. Murali rolled down the windows and waved. So did I. I had such a lovely time laughing. Rest of the trip home, I stalked Murali, singing aloud in the car and laughing more. It was my best drive so far. (It was true, btw. He did slow me down. He was driving slowly and carefully because it’s the new car).

Don’t forget to notice my awesome photo editing skills.

We made it home, on time. I went home to my usual smiles from Abhi and Achu and asked Abhi to tell Murali that, ‘Nanna, Amma beat you in car race’. Abhi repeated something like that. 🙂

♦♦♦

Murali installed Windows 8.1 update on his phone yesterday and since then, he has been torturing Cortana with stupid questions. Like, ‘Can you sing hush little baby?’, ‘Can you give me the recipe for gulab jamoon?’ and etc. Finally, end of the day, he did one useful thing to do, asking Cortana to remind him of washer/dryer loading in the morning at 6:15.

And today morning, even before it was 6:15, I hear the dryer running downstairs. Murali probably woke up earlier than he set the reminder and took care of the dryer. My point is, Murali beat Cortana and I beat Murali, so we can safely conclude that I beat Cortana too. Right!