P moved out this week. She has lived with us for almost an year. I didn’t have anyone stay that long with me. First month, adjusting with kids was very tough. Once that happened, everything was perfect. We found a better nanny by then (our current nanny). Every evening, we would come home to Abhi and Achu, take them out for stroller walk, get the grocery shopping done etc. On Fridays, we had dance party when we all four danced. When Murali visited on the weekends, it was even better. We had fun times, good conversations, good food, teasing one another. Fun.
And then a month later, she got busy at work, a time when I needed it most. We used to barely see her. It was getting tough for me doing work, home and kids all on my own I had no choice, anyway. Many times Abhi and Achu were sick, she didn’t even know because she used to come after kids slept and left before they were up. I dealt with all that too. She was my guest and I couldn’t ask more from her. She was trying to help on the weekends anyway. I got over it and had good times with Abhi and Achu as much as I could. This was also the time I stopped cooking except for kids and ate whatever I made for them.
Right around the time Murali was back to US, P’s work got better too. She was spending more time with us again. Helping us out whenever she could. Despite all the work, she took care of Abhi at nights for the most part of the year. Each time, each night I went to check on Abhi, she sent me away telling me that she is taking care of him. Honestly, except for my parents, I can’t think of another person who helped me that way in my life. This was the time I needed it THE MOST. And she was there whenever she could.
Those were such good times. We laughed so much. I knew that I had a habit of talking to myself while working (since there is no one else to talk to). I had that habit for years now. I know it looks weird to people who see me talking to myself. P got rid of that habit. She told me each time she heard me talk like that. So I stopped doing that. More than that, she was there to talk to me so I didn’t need to talk to myself anymore.
That was the time we spent together. I was really really crazy mad on her sometimes. Especially when she totally bailed out on me when Abhi and Achu were sick. When she added to my troubles because of the way she thinks and talks. But, the next time I saw her, I forgot all about it. I guess it comes easily to us to forgive our best friends.
I have been pretty mad and upset about the move and other things in the past one month again. Like how she is neglecting my advise to go see a doctor, how I am excluded from all the shopping and fun things they do while I get them involved in all of mine; how I am taken for granted. So many things. But, it’s all okay. I wont let all that bother me. May be, temporarily yes. But, not for long. All because of last one year. Specifically, because of that one night when she helped me until Murali came home. I was so terrified that night, out of my mind that I ran out of MY house literally with Abhi and Achu, not even buckled in their stroller. Without wearing shoes or jackets at 10 PM in the night. P came running behind me. Safely took me back home. God knows what I would have done that night. I know what I could have done. I would have put the kids in the car, and driven straight to a friend’s house at that time in the cold dark night, in to the mountains. I don’t think I would have reached my destination though. I was literally shaking. I didn’t do that only because P was there. I cried my eyes out that night. I had the worst headache of my life. And she was with me every minute until Murali came home. I think four of us owe her A LOT for that. For just that.
Her husband is joining her from India this week. She has been waiting for this week for over a year now. I am both happy and sad for her. And that’s because of their relationship. I have done my best in telling her to start fresh and forget everything that happened. If he needs to feel important, make him feel that way. Do whatever it takes. Start from scratch. I told her everything. More than I needed to. Since she is my best friend and she needs to know what she is doing wrong on her side. From what I see, she seems to like it when things go wrong. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why. She feels better in responding to him with a sarcastic comment than try to be in good terms with him. Sometimes I think, she doesn’t want to be happy. I know she tried all she could and probably gave up. But, there is nothing like giving up in our relationships. She is not going to take any drastic decisions to separate (even though she has support from her family and us), so she might as well try harder. That’s what I think. As much as I am hoping she would do what we think is right, I don’t see that happening. I hope I am wrong. I will be very happy if proven wrong. She deserves to be truly happy.
We had such good times. And we will miss her so much. Despite the past, I truly hope that they have good times again and she gets to be a mom and be happy. Please do wish her good luck.
P.S: I have a post about work that I need to write, but I don’t think I want to make it public. And I don’t want to obligate any of you into reading it, so please ask me for a password and I will send it over. 🙂