We took a huge step for our future this week. A really big one. This is the moment when it happened, I always thought I would be jumping around with joy, celebrating with happy smiles. Instead of feeling that way, I find myself more scared than ever. I am like ten percent excited and a zillion percent scared. And this is not the like the scare I had before. When I was travelling to the US on a job assignment for the first time, all on my own, I was so scared. But, that time, I knew doing that, no matter how scared I was, was good. It was the good opportunity. I had reasons to be scared. New place, leaving family, even if I had friends around was scary. But soon it was okay. We had the best times. This dilemma is not like that. I am not sure if this is good and if we should just do it. It feels right, but it doesn’t too. Do we need to wait more? Is this the right time? Is this the right one? So many questions. So many concerns and no easy answer. A, whose words I can blindly believe, tells me what I need to hear. I spoke to him for half an hour and he told me all my concerns on my mind before I even told him that. He has been through something similar. So, his answer or suggestion to our problem is not what I like. I want to go with what he said, but I also worry about what I will lose. I want this to go through. I want to have this. But I worry if this is the right thing or right time to have it. So much is at stake now. I haven’t realized all that before. And knowing that good luck has never been on our side, scares me even more. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. Its been a dream for such a long time and it keeps eluding me. This was supposed to be easy, but it isn’t. May be, I am complicating this. I don’t know. I feel so lost and unfocussed.