Finding That Balance

Ahhh! This mom is confused beyond limits.

♦ Last week, she talks to her friend V who brings back a conflict she was already struggling with – how awesome we used to be at first job and how we are just good/average now; What happened  to all the fire that she wanted to be awesome and do everything at work? Most importantly, how does she get the fire back and not just stay normal? She thinks about how she wants to spend more time focussed on work.

♦ The she goes and watches the movie ‘The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty’ and realizes, there is so much more to do in life, not just be best at work. (She loved the movie btw and wants to ride her bicycle on those breathtakingly beautiful roads in Greenland)

♦ The next day, she goes to an open house checking out new BEAUTIFUL homes and wishes she owned one like that. She wishes they had everything stable and right in life to make owning a home possible.

♦ Then she meets an old mentor of hers and thinks of being that person who she used to be at work. She tells herself, ‘I am doing this’

♦ (It’s not over yet.) One lunch with a mom-colleague of hers, this colleague says ‘its not possible to do more things at work without spending extra time at work’. This mom knows that’s not true, but she gets to the mindset ‘My kids need me. I can’t take any time away from them than I already have.’

♦ (Nope. Not done yet.) Then she makes a casual call to nanny taking care of kids at home, who brings Achu on the phone. When asked to say bye Achu so excitedly says ‘ByByeeee’ in her style and now mom is wondering why is she not home spending precious moments with her twins.

Mom reminds herself, “the company you hang out with is very important. It either makes you laid back at something or super motivates you to do something.” She knows what she wants, but fears that will take time away from other precious things.

This mom needs to keep thinking. Apparently ‘being what she wants to be at work/career’, ‘enjoying life outside’ and ‘spending time with kids’ are all important to her. And she wants it that way (No, I want to take a break and stay at home) (No, I want to make my life more balanced working too) ( Sigh 😦 ). She needs to find a way to strike a balance between all three. She is going to be feeling very guilty otherwise about the thing she missed. 😦

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10 thoughts on “Finding That Balance

    1. I think so too Ash. But that could easily take 5 years and that might be a long time to lose what I really was and get used to a different me. Yep, sacrifice is definitely there. I will see how it goes. 🙂

  1. I understand what you are saying. I wanted to write this as a comment for your post “Exhausted”. But I did not write because I did not want to influence your mind. Now I think you are capable of making your own decision.

    When we had 2 very small kids (son in kindergarten and daughter not yet in school), my wife felt the same way. Very attached to the kids. She even hated to leave the kids with the baby sitters. Finally, after working for 2 years, she could not take it any more. We talked about it several times and I suggested if she felt very strongly she should quit the job. I said we can manage with my income only. Next week, a brilliant Actuary quit the job and became a home maker.

    1. Thanks SG. I am sure your wife made the right decision.

      I have thought about it couple of times, but for many reasons (not financial), I always thought I cant afford that. Maybe I just need more courage. I will keep thinking about it. 🙂

  2. Its as if you can read my mind. I want to achieve great things at work, spend full time with kids and everything in between. It is indeed very difficult to find the balance.

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