So, at the start of year 2013, I thought that I am not really a resolutions kind of person because we don’t need a particular time to fix something blah blah blah, but then realized, with life being so busy, it doesn’t hurt to list down things that I need to improve upon or focus on. After that, I decided, ‘Yes. This year I am going to make some resolutions’ and was planning to write them down on my blog here. Guess what, never happened. I didn’t get to write ONE POST about my resolutions in the whole year. I didn’t find time to do it. 🙂 That certainly calls for the first post of the year, this year, to be DEFINITELY about resolutions. Most of my resolutions here are more or less the same as those I had for 2013, but I now have stronger and better reasons to work on them, at least this year. So, here is what I hope to focus more on or start doing, this year, at least. 🙂
(From my upcoming posts in 2014, if I seem to be going off-track, can some one send me a note? 🙂 )
♦ Make friends: As clearly evident by the first day of the holiday season and also my vacation (and most of my last few years), I need to make new friends. That day, I had time off from work and kids, I wanted to go do some shopping, eat out or watch a movie etc. and guess what, didn’t have a single person to accompany me. I was so depressed that day after realizing that I haven’t made any new friends in the last 3 years. Turns out its a bad idea to always rely on one person for anything (who could be easily busy otherwise). I also have the habit of cancelling lunches, saying no to invites that I need to stop doing. Every time some one invites for lunch or something, I find some reason not to go. I hardly call anyone and so no one ever calls me (I really don’t like talking on phone. The minute I think of calling someone, I find something else to do or postpone it forever). I have been invisible on chat/IM forever. I don’t know why. This is something I need to badly work on. I need to call people, stay in touch, go out more, maintain few relation ships. Solution to my problem seems so easy and yet what matters is me doing it. It also goes without saying that our social life sucks. At least, for the sake of Abhi and Achu, we need to fix this.
♦ Weight gain: Aargh! Its that damn thing again. I don’t need to say anything more here than that I need to stay focused on not eating junk, watching my weight and getting some form of exercise regularly. One of the times, I had to take Abhi and Achu for their drs. appointment, I was little worried about doing this by myself without Murali. That day, when we started, I had this feeling of feeling light on my weight side (having lost some weight after my India trip). That day, that feeling light had kept me going. I dealt with everything just fine. Feeling light and looking good makes me feel so better. I can’t stand the thought of getting tired running behind Abhi and Achu or playing with them.
♦ Go back to hiking: I still have no clue how I am going to get some time for hiking into our lives since Abhi and Achu are still small, but, this is something I am dying to get back to. Its been ages we went on some decent hikes. Weather is going to get better in next few months and I really don’t mind baring a little cold and rain to get to the trails. All the lovely posts from wta.org on my Facebook page make me miss the trails even more. There is just so much to nature to see. And what a splendid way to stay active. I know couple of our friends who have taken hiking after us are now regular hikers. I want to join their group as soon as the weather permits. Still don’t know how to accommodate this into our schedule but we will figure it out eventually.
♦ Be ready for Abhi and Achu: Parenting is such a tough job and with twins, its more than double tough. And as a first time parent and someone who doesn’t easily accept advice from all (unless they are in my approved list), I want to prepare for the hurdles ahead of us. ( I can see ‘Terrible twos’ are coming to us soon 🙂 ) There is just so much to read and so much to learn. Some, I cant do anything unless I experience it. But I want us to be prepared. I want to do everything in the right way for Abhi and Achu (I also know its not possible 🙂 ). I, at least, want to try to do the best we can and have the joyful time of our lives with Abhi and Achu. In short, be a better parent than what I am now.
♦ Forgive few: Ever since my India trip, I have not been maintaining a good relationship with some of my family members. It has got to do with what happened to us during the trip. But, I cant stay like this with them. They are my family. They were with me all my life and they deserve to be forgiven. Frankly, I never wanted them to apologize for what they did or what they said, but, I wish they at least know what they put me through. Its been 6 months already and I don’t think its happening. And since I cant waste anymore time, I want to forgive them and move on. I want things to be back to normal. Like they say, time will heal things. Looks like it is, but, I also need to do what I need to do.
♦ Forget few: Like I read somewhere recently, to hate someone you will have to remember them. And I by no means want to remember few people (I do anyway, almost everyday). Those who put me and my kids in danger. I don’t want to go into details because they don’t deserve anymore space in my world. I have no idea how, but I just want to forget them. I do wish if there was an erase button for some memories. You know, I wish I said something and screamed aloud in front of them on how they made me feel. Most of my trouble with forgetting or forgiving is that I kept silent during those times. I need help. I need to really forget all this.
♦ Keep home clean: From my stand point, it does look decent enough now, but it could be so much better. Let me put it this way. I will feel much better, if my house looked much better. And I should do anything to make myself feel better. 🙂
♦ Being With Murali: Personally I feel, that last 5 months or so has been the best time of our married life. of course, there is much more to do. I wish to stay calm sometimes, I wish to be a little flexible sometimes, I wish to be more understanding sometimes, I wish to be more clear sometimes. There are so many miscellaneous things I cant jot down here, but, I need to work on.
♦ Travel: Something I have been dreaming about for so long now. I know its going to be tough travelling with two kids, but, we cant stay home for ever. I want to accommodate travel/vacation into our lives, prepare for our travel, see new places and make some nice travel memories.
♦ Have some me-time: As much as I love to spend most of my free time with Abhi and Achu, I would also love to take some time off for me-time. Its so refreshing and I am sure I will be needing them this year. 🙂 Me time could be anything, shopping, watching movie etc. but, this year I want to focus to two things. Learning to swim and reading good books. Swimming is something I have been waiting to learn from a long time. It will make me feel so better, because then, I would have learnt something new in a long time like a new skill. 🙂
♦ Work front: There are just so many things to be done on the work front, isn’t it? There are new career levels to jump to, new things to try. I don’t know what 2014 has in store for me with respect to work, but I want to be able to isolate work from kids and focus on my work.
♦ My most important one of all is to spend as much time as possible with Abhi and Achu. Make time for them, no matter what. Even if it means I lose some of the above (which is what will happen mostly 🙂 ). To be with them completely, play with them, sing with them, dance with them, resolve their fights, teach them, read to them, everything. 🙂
It does look like, I have started working already on some, but few, I have no idea how to do that. I hope I can focus on what I want from this year and make some good memories.
Happy New Year, everyone. 🙂 May we all have a happy 2014. I hope world will become a better place to live in 2014.