Movie Time

♦ I am really loving watching movies, these days. Not the ones we watch on TV, but going to a theatre and watching a movie. Its the kind of outing I like, these days. It’s not too long to be away from kids, but, it’s fun enough activity for Murali and me to do. Some of the movies we watched in the last few months, we watched either the night shows after we put Abhi and Achu to bed, when P is baby sitting them or when nanny is at home. We watched ‘Hunger Games – Catching Fire’ some time last week. It was one of the freezing cold weeks here and when we stepped out at night, it was -7c. -10c when we came back. Movie was worth it, though (Murali slept during the movie). But, I liked the first one better. I liked it that they kept it long enough to do justice to the book. I remember, the time when we watched the first one on Netflix, Abhi and Achu were tiny little babies. I have the picture of Achu laying down on the corner of the couch, watching her favorite lamp and sleeping there itself when we were watching the movie. Now, if I am watching a movie next to her, she would jump out of couch, kick that lamp, drag my attention away from the TV in every possible way. 🙂 I wonder how she will be like by the time ‘Mocking Jay’ releases. 🙂

♦ Murali and I watched ‘Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug’ in 3D this afternoon. I absolutely hated the 3D glasses, but loved the movie so much. There is so much rich magic to this series that I have totally missed earlier. I haven’t read the books. I don’t remember much from the ‘Lord Of The Rings’ series either. (Murali also dozed off during this movie…Grr…) I have to catch the first installment of the series now. And can’t wait for the third part. Next one I want to go watch is 47 Ronin (no 3D).

♦ I told P, the other day, that my time of watching regional Telugu movie films is over. I had absolutely no intentions to go watch a Telugu movie in theatres here. When one big hero (:P) movie released, P was interested, but she didn’t go out to watch. I don’t allow watching pirated copies of movies on internet, but, I allowed once for her sake. So, last week, some night, we watched this movie off of internet. I was totally bored by the movie. Comedy was nothing to laugh about. Action scenes were boring and the logic less drama was boring too. Some scenes, I felt like, were just dragging the sequence. And to say this movie was a hit. Sigh! To start with, I had a bad headache too. So, I left the movie half-way through and haven’t finished watching it yet. I don’t think I will go back and watch the rest of it. Zero interest, what-so-ever.

♦ After a long time, Murali, P and I found some time to watch a movie on Netflix together. It was a British psychological thriller titled ‘Exam’ where the contestants are fighting for a job. In some 80 minutes, they have to figure out the question and as well answer it, following some rules, to win the job offer. It was okay. While we were watching this one, Murali mentioned reading that this movie was remade in Telugu. P and I didn’t believe him first. Because the story line/genre was nothing like our regional movie guys would unofficially copy from somewhere. So, after we finished watching the original movie, we decided to check out few scenes from the Telugu movie titled ‘Key’. We only watched the beginning, some scenes in between and the climax. I have to say. I take whatever I said about ‘I am done watching Telugu movies’ back. Because if the movie is like, I will surely want to watch it. Because it was so damn funny. (Yeah…It was still supposed to be a psychological thriller 🙂 ) First of all, most of the scenes looked like a perfect copy from the original.  Secondly, this is  probably the only movie with worst acting, I have ever seen. When one of the characters on-screen was yelling ‘You….killer’ seriously , we were all laughing so bad. 🙂 In one of the scenes from the original movie, one job applicant tries to write down something other than the right answer on the paper and gets disqualified. In the local rip-off, the same scene starts with writing something too (to get eventually disqualified). I was just then telling P that maybe he will write ‘Om’ on the paper (like we used to do when we were kids) and that’s exactly what the scene had too. 🙂 Applicant writes ‘Om Sai Nath..’ something and gets disqualified. I swear, I literally rolled on the floor, laughing. These guys, they will do worse even when making a complete copy. 🙂 I hardly remember anything from the original movie now, just can’t stop laughing about this copy one. 🙂

♦ And guess, who got bit by the ‘Harry Potter’ bug at home now? Murali. I recently, played the first part again (You know, it’s just been a while 🙂 and I was so desperately waiting to watch Hobbit) and suddenly, Murali takes super interest in watching the series again. This time, with real curiosity, almost glued to the TV. We are guessing, he is doing so, because he is educating himself so that he can tell/discuss the stories with Abhi and Achu. That’s the closest explanation I can think of :). Other than that, when he referred to the names correctly at the end of the second movie and asked some clarifications, I felt proud 🙂 . Abhi and Achu aren’t showing interest yet, but I don’t want them to keep catching these sneak peaks until they are ready. Just don’t want to ruin their first time experience :). Other than that, they watched the owls and cat with some interest; Achu tried to repeat the ‘Swish and Flick – Vingardium leviosa’  spell from the movie; And when I said ‘Alohomora’, Abhi laughs out loud. 🙂 Achu can also say some version of ‘potthher’. 🙂 I am guessing Murali is going to continue watching the rest of the series when he gets a chance. Also, look what he did after he watched the second part. Made a family clock for us like Ron’s here. He pasted tiny photos of Abhi and Achu on the needles. I am thinking, Achu’s pointer should always show, ‘Being Naughty’. 🙂 Abhi’s could say ‘Picking and eating everything off of floor’. 🙂

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Buthabey

Buthabey was one of the first words Abhi said and that he repeatedly kept saying for many days. He still says it. It doesn’t really mean anything in any languages I know, but, when he said it, it sounded so cute. All of us still keep repeating the name, so that, we can hear him say it back.  Abhi’s vocabulary, these days, is growing so fast. At out last pediatrician’s visit, when our dr said Abhi was at advanced level of language skills, I had no clue how much he can do. I dont know if Abhi understood what dr. said 🙂 , but he seem to be really picking up a LOT of new words these days. It’s his new found love…Learning new words and repeating them. He has been pretty much repeating at least one word from what we, adults, say. Even if we are just taking to ourselves or on phone, I can see he is very keenly listening to whatever we are saying. All of us, now, watchout for what words we are using, because, last time, Murali said ‘crap’. Abhi also said ‘crap’ 🙂 .

So, just for fun, I wanted to see how many words Abhi knows and says. P and I started making a list. Initially, we got down to some 60 words. And that didn’t include the animal sounds or songs he sings with us. We kept the list open, because we were sure we were missing many. We even progressed on to recording the words in a different page. 🙂 Now, the count has easily crossed some 120.  Most of these words on the list we recorded, he can pronounce exactly and rest of them at least 90% correctly.

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I love it how correctly and cutely he pronounces some of the words. Like bathtub. Latest addition to his word collection is the word scissors, pronounced like zizzors. 🙂 Also, the word awesome. 🙂 He seems to be good at pronouncing longer words better than short ones. I loved it when said, cleaning, going, coming, dirty, chapati..all the first time he heard them. 🙂 Most of the times, if he didn’t pronounce the word correctly, he pauses and corrects himself. Like when said ‘gasses’ for glasses, he was trying to include the missing ‘l’ and say it again. Any words he cannot pronounce, he repeats them as ‘Abhiya’. 🙂 That’s probably like a placeholder for new words, I think. 🙂 He has, now, proceeded to saying two or three words at a time. ‘Kaki Come’ (Kaki = Crow) was the first double words he used. Next one was also regarding their favorite friend kaki, ‘Kaki Come Here’. 🙂

His sing-alongs are pretty neat too. There are some Telugu movie song lyrics, he repeats with me. He knows when what words come, so he watches out for the words he knows or he likes.  He repeats some nursery rhymes with us. ‘Baby McDonald had a farm’ was the first rhyme he sang with us with ‘ee aa oo…’. We sing ‘Ba Ba..black sheep’… He goes ‘Yezza…Yezza’ ( For ‘yes sir’).  Also Twinkle, Twinkle..

“Twinkle Twinkle Little” Abhi: “Tarrr”

“How I wonder what you” Abhi: “areee”. “Up aaaa”

“Above the world sooo” Abhi: “highh”.

“Like a diamond in the..” Abhi: “kyyy”

(He once was drinking milk from his bottle, when, he had to sing along and finish the above rhyme. He took his bottle out, said ‘kyyy’ and resumed drinking. See, thats how dedicated he is about his words. 🙂 )

Not only is he repeating words, this last week, he seems to be interested in making a conversation out of them. I asked him yesterday, ‘Abhi, do you want your nasal drops?’. He gave me a long ‘ nooooooo’ for an answer.

Every time after they get dressed, I let Abhi and Achu ask each other how they look with ‘How does Achu/Abhi look?’. They say ‘nizeee’ (nice). So, when Abhi was sick with cold, I asked him ‘Abhi, How are you feeling?’. He improvises and says, ‘Nizeee’. 🙂

Each time he is done drinking milk or when he doesn’t want to eat anymore, he tells us ‘Done.’ 🙂

When we are taking anything back from him, because, we say ‘give me’, now when he is giving us something, he says ‘give me’.

Everything he hears from us, he repeats at least one or two words from our sentence. I said, ‘This is not good, babies’. He repeats, ‘Goo babies’ (That’s not what I meant Abhi. 🙂 ). I said, ‘See, you made this all wet’. He says, ‘all wettt’.

He also very casually says words like ‘Commmooonn’, ‘Take it’, ‘Bettherr (better)’.  These days he thinks its funny to say things on low voice. I can hear him repeating the word correctly, but he says it all hush-hush. Keeps smiling all the time when saying that.

Achu is also picking words fast, but, she mostly gets them from what Abhi says. You know, she pays more attention to him than us (keeps an eye on him, all the time 🙂 ).  They are learning new words so faster than I can keep track. Every day they surprise us with some new word and I cant believe they are growing so fast. Saying all those new words already. :). I know, there is much more to come and I really want to keep track of new words they say. It will be so much fun to read the list in the future. 🙂

Hear Me Out

You know, I once had a friend who would give elaborate details to all the questions. Once, I casually asked her, how did her India trip go (some 30 days long) and she gave me all the details about each day of the trip. (Including things like the money it took for auto from her place to somewhere. 🙂 ) My colleague at lunch and P also talk the similar way. When we are driving home from work every evening, P tells me everything about her work day, like how many tests she executed, how many passed, how many machines failed, what tools crashed etc etc etc. (Me knowing her line of work only makes it more detailed ). Add to that the office politics details that I hate – who said what utterly childishly and the never ending personal issues. Even though I wish for some quite time after spending my day at work, I listen to her. I respond to her normally. I think I get it. People want to be heard. Our every day details are so trivial for others, and, yet, they are important for us. Even though I have my colleague and P, I could talk to the same way and tell them everything that’s on my mind, I don’t. But, I wish someone would at least genuinely ask what happened and then listen.

Yesterday night, was one night, I found it not easy. It took me back to some old times, I didn’t like. I think I want someone to know about it all. And since there is no one else who would ask me or I could tell it all to, where else would I go except for my blog? So, in next couple of lines, my blog will ask me for all the details and I am going to give a really detailed, long answer and let it all out. ( And in case you are here and decide to continue to read, thanks to you for doing so. )

“So Dil, How was yesterday night?”

“Not very good, blog. You know, Abhi fell sick the day before with cold and fever. Courtesy me. I took kids out for a walk in the afternoon. Since weather was better than last week and that would be good for them. I am still feeling very guilty about taking them out and causing all this. Nanny keeps telling me that I cant keep them locked inside the house for ever and we have to keep doing these little outings. I am still not sure about that. All day yesterday, Abhi was okay-ish. But, by evening, he got very cranky. He didn’t eat much. Whatever little he ate, he threw up already. Since he didn’t eat well, he had less energy. I think he wanted to continue doing his daily things, but he had no energy to do so. He was moaning and I could see him literally dragging his feet everywhere. I asked him to lay down in my lap for a while, but he didn’t want to. He still refused to eat anything. He just was more cranky than ever. Achu, on the other hand, started acting more possessive and jealous than ever, even, pushing Abhi away from my lap. The whole crying/cribbing session went on for over an hour and I finally started playing some songs they like on laptop and fed Abhi a little food. Abhi continued to be very cranky and tired. His eyes were all watery from the fever and cold.  So, I decided to put him to bed early than usual. P was out for dinner with some friends, so I took Abhi and Achu, both to Achu’s bedroom hoping that I could rock Abhi to sleep and Achu could sleep in her crib. Abhi slept after some 10-15 minutes, crying of course. He still wasn’t able to breathe. The fever medicine didn’t seem to be working at all. After he slept, I was hoping Achu would fall asleep like her usual. But, tonight, she decided to go back to her old tantrum self. She refused her milk, started crying unstoppably, kicking her legs, upset at me etc. etc. I know her routine changed. I bought Abhi to bed with us, where as it should just be her and me. She threw up in the afternoon, so her bed setting was different, her blanket was different. I patted her, sang to her, just waited by her side and nothing worked. After Abhi looked sound asleep, I left the room to put him in his crib. P came home that time and said she was sick from fever and I couldn’t ask for anything. By the time, I returned to Achu’s room, Achu vomited her dinner out. I cleaned up all of it and changed her blanket again and she didn’t like it one bit. She went on crying and crying. I sat next to her and somehow she slept around 11, crying, like old times. I was then, leaving the room to check on Abhi’s temperature, she woke up again…more crying, more consoling…more time.

Finally, I got out, checked on Abhi. He seemed to do fine. I had to do my usual kitchen cleaning and preparing for next day things. (Now-a-days I am not sure why I clean my kitchen that neatly everyday. Its going to get messy the next morning anyway.) By the time I was done in the kitchen, Abhi woke up. Unable to breathe. He again took like forever to go back to sleep. Poor thing, he was trying to breathe through his nose and when he couldn’t, it was upsetting him. I sang to him, I rocked him, walked around the room holding him. He finally slept after an hour. And you know what happened next, blog? You guessed it right. It was Achu’s turn. Same cranky Achu. Same story. This time, draining out more energy from me. I finally, laid down on my bed and my leg pain kicked in (no surprise there). Right when I was about to sleep, haha, it was Achu’s turn again. I think, I could just copy paste lines now. 😦 I tried to sleep again. It was 3 already. This time, P woke me up, saying , Abhi might have fever. I went to that room, he did have fever and while I was giving him medicine, he woke up. But, minutes later, coughed all the medicine out. 😦 I brought him into the living room, hoping to divert his attention and gave him a tour of our living room at 3 in the morning. 🙂 He was awake completely and it took him another hour and half to go to sleep. He absolutely didn’t want to sleep on his own and I had to hold him and walk in the room for all one hour for him to sleep. Drained me out completely. I finally gave up and made some milk for him. Sometimes, he likes to chew on the bottle nipple. And I crashed next to him. He was awake for few more minutes because I could feel his little fingers poking my face 🙂 and then we slept until 7. He woke up crying, I put him to bed again for another hour.

When Achu saw me in the morning, she didn’t want me to leave her. Abhi was looking normal, even though he had fever. Achu started to feel warm and had running nose, now. 😦 I, then, had to walk to the pharmacy because we were running out of fever medicine. After I came back, we fed the kids and put them to bed, made some lunch for them and then I slept for sometime. I wanted to eat something before I sleep and there was nothing. So I ate a chocolate and slept. Not many times, I continue to sleep after Abhi and Achu are awake, when I don’t hear what they are doing. This morning, I didn’t hear anything. I really needed that sleep. Of course, I took the day off work. And did I mention I didn’t realize I didn’t have dinner last night until I felt like vomiting on empty stomach at about 4 in the morning? 😦

All this and I still feel this is normal for me. I had days worse than this. But, I don’t know, for some reason I just wanted to write it all out this time because its been a while I had one such night. Things are not yet better now. Achu is full on falling sick now. Running nose, highly cranky and all. She is absolutely protesting me holding Abhi and Abhi has started to notice that and cry again. I am not good at asking for help when I am upset. I don’t know how it will be for the rest of time. Just, hope they recover immediately.”

This And That …

♦ Murali gave me some good news on Friday evening. And as expected, I felt very very very happy about it, but hadn’t expressed it in anyway. The reason, simply being, that I cant celebrate or jump around or be excited about everything all by myself. Then, I got upset about how I wouldn’t make the most out of a happy news, especially, given that they are SO rare. Then, I fixed myself and moved on. All in one evening. Long time ago, life has gotten to a point where things go wrong just as much as they can even after everything looks normal and good. That has only made me, not be happy about things as I could be; Not as much excited about the future as I can be. So, I guess, I changed myself to be like someone else and just take the news as ‘whatever’. I know that’s not how I was or how I grew up. I know that’s not good at all. I know that’s not the way it should be. But, that’s what I have become now.

♦ Last week when I was driving home from work, I saw a car in front of me, stop for a pedestrian to cross at an intersection. This pedestrian was not near the crossing even, yet, the car in front of me waited for the person to walk to the intersection and cross. Otherwise, pedestrian would need to have waited for the cars to pass, in the cold weather. Few minutes later, I was at another intersection, I saw another person walking towards crossing the road. This time, I waited and let her cross. She thanked me with a smile. ( And while smiling to myself about what happened, I turned right into Murali’s old office as I was going to pick him up from there. I don’t know why I did that. I didn’t realize I had turned into the wrong way until P told me.)

Same last week, I came home from work, like as usual, made Tea for everyone and since I was in rush to finish some office work, asked someone to finish making tea and stepped into another room to get work done. Everyone had their Tea, but none of them bothered to get a cup to me. Next day, I was in similar rush and so instead of starting with making tea for everyone, I went on with doing my other important chores.

Bottom line, I see good, I do good. I get bad, I give bad. (Of course, the next day I realized what I have done and let go of all that because I don’t want to be a bad person.)

♦ These days, it doesn’t really take a trip to Hawaii to get me all excited. The day before, I had this thought of moving the couch a little away, unblocking doorway and putting another gate near the kitchen to stop kids from coming in, so that, Abhi and Achu can have more space to explore or play in. You have no idea how excited I was about doing that and seeing Abhi and Achu walk in more space (that was forbidden for them before). From the moment I had this thought, I was so waiting to get this done and see how Abhi and Achu will react in the new space. P and I got that done yesterday night. Placed an extra gate near the kitchen entry, moved the couch, even leaving a little space between the couch and the wall for another secret hideout for Abhi and Achu 🙂

Abhi woke up first in the morning, he looked like he wasn’t sure what happened. 🙂 He was standing near the end of the carpet and looking at me, like ‘I thought I wasn’t allowed here. But there is nothing blocking here, Can I go?’ Hahah. I said, ‘Common Abhi baby’ and he quickly started exploring the new place. Found something really tiny on the corner of the carpet that our vacuum cleaner hasn’t picked up, tried to stuff it into his mouth. 🙂 Now, he wants to step into the shoe closet and stuff all the shoes in his mouth too. (Great idea, Abhi. 🙂 ) When Achu woke up, as expected, she was little hesitant to step on the new space. Near the main door entry, there was no carpet. Just flat hard surface. Once she stepped on the hard tiles, carpet was like half an inch above the flat surface and she put up a face like she doesn’t know how to walk over that. 🙂 She stood there for few minutes, hoping one of us would rescue her (really half an inch difference :)), but, she figured it out. Its looking like they are going to be very occupied in the new area of the house for next few days, at least. 🙂 There is just something amazing about seeing kids running around the house. Makes the house looks more lively and cheerful.

♦ I always knew baking would be such fun, but, for the fear of having all those baked goods end up inside me, I never seriously tried it. Last week, P and I were going through pediatrician’s chart for helping Abhi and Achu gain a little more weight and we made a list of extra foods we can make. Muffins were one of them. of course, I didn’t want to give them store bought muffins, so I bought the baking mix, other things and baked muffins yesterday evening. Abhi and Achu were watching me mix and prepare everything. Abhi lost interest after a while, but, Achu payed attention all the way. And our muffins turned out perfect and yummy. If I could bake things that nicely, it only means that the cake mix made it pretty easy. 🙂 We already gave it to Abhi and Achu. Achu, very much, preferred to spread the pieces on the carpet and eat it off the carpet. ( Whatever you prefer Achu, as long as you eat. 🙂 ) Since the effort was a success and fun, I want to bake pretty pretty things every day. Provided some one promises to make them immediately disappear from my sight, right after I finish baking and have taken a picture)

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♦ P and I finally had our long planned facials done at some spa. Lady at the spa told me my skin was pretty good. 🙂 Nice, right? While massaging, she told me I was carrying lot of stress on my shoulders. That’s exactly what I was told at the last spa. Huh! I guess I am really stressed, then. We also tried some microdermabrasion for the first time and P tells me my skin is glowing now. 😛 It was nice to finally get this done. Also because P and I look a little beautiful now. 🙂

New Team

At home, honestly, its like our vacuum cleaner is a total waste compared to Abhi finding stuff on the carpet. When we see whatever he picked up from the carpet, whatever it is, its like really really really tiny. And Abhi could see that, pick that and then, in most of the cases, stuff it into his mouth. Sigh! On the bright side, I think Abhi could be living vacuum cleaner for us. Best one there could be, ever. I mean, think about it. We don’t even have to empty the bags. Whatever it was, will end up in the diaper next day and then I can just dispose the diaper off. 🙂 Sigh. See, what mommyhood is doing to me? I was also joking with friends the other day, that a better way to feed him would be, just spilling the food on the floor and letting him eat it. Until, you know, he started separating food from non-food, handover the food particle to us and go run to his secret place to stuff the non-food thing into mouth. Sigh again!

So, coming to today, like always, Abhi found something again on the carpet he shouldn’t put into his mouth, but he instantly does. Before we stop him, before we can say no, its already inside his mouth. These days P is the champion who could hold Abhi tight, dare to put her fingers into Abhi’s mouth, find that thing and take it out. I have totally given up on doing this. Firstly, I cant hold Abhi that tight (he twists and turns and escapes from my hold). Secondly, he bites me when I put my fingers in. This time, also, P scavenged that thing out and threw it out. Now, Abhi baby was super upset. He took out his biggest weapon – fake crying with real tears – and started crying. Our heroine, Achu also got into action and started doing what she always does. That is pointing a crying Abhi to us and chant ‘Abhi, Abhi, Abhi’ non-stop (She tell us that Abhi is crying, as of we don’t know. 🙂 ). P and I are now ignoring Abhi’s cry, especially when he does something wrong. So, to convey the message, we stopped looking at him, didn’t talk to him. We just sat on the couch, observing Abhi and Achu.

Abhi is still fake-crying for attention or hugs; Achu is confused as to why we are not doing anything (still pointing at Abhi and chanting his name). I say to Achu, ‘You take care of him’. Not that she understood what I told her, but she sits in front of him, stares right into his face and keeps looking. They have formed a new alliance now (You know, we both have common enemies, type of alliance). Abhi continues to cry, Achu, continues to stare at him. At one point, Abhi almost bends down and puts his head in Achu’s lap hoping at least she would comfort her. 🙂 I am trying so hard to not look at them, but I really cant look away from them. After few moments, Abhi has decided he wasn’t going to get any hugs, so he lets go of crying and screams at us once. That gets him some attention from us, because that was the first time, I have seen him express himself that way. We quickly retracted. So more screaming, he finally gave up on his little drama, forgot everything (that’s why I also call them Ghazini, they forget things so fast) and went on to play like nothing happened. Hmm. Looks like my baby is growing up. He is just not the mellow baby he was days ago. Screaming, protesting, fighting back. Yep, he is growing up. What’s best is, he is turning into his little sister. 🙂

Abhi & Achu, I know the day is not far away when you two would gang up against me for something. When that day comes, I will remember to have an extra smile on me, because, even if its against me, I cant wait to see you two fighting together like that.

Time For Abhi

Sometimes Murali asks us (directly or indirectly), why we are not as strict with Abhi as we are with Achu. I have three reasons for being so. Two short and one long (and painful) answers. Starting with the easy one, firstly, I don’t think Abhi is yet there, where he needs to have some rules applied to him. He cries only when he has something really bothering him. He plays on his own. And he is not the baby grabbing toys away from the other one. 🙂 But whatever we need to tell him for his behavior, we follow them, definitely. One thing we are not doing anything about is his sleeping pattern now. Abhi really was the perfect sleeper for the first year. After coming here, he gave up on sleeping on his own. Now, he needs to be rocked to sleep; he wakes up multiple times a night, and each time needs to be rocked back to sleep. Ideally, I would have done the same I did with Achu. Sleep training Abhi so that he (and others) could sleep better. But, I haven’t done that yet. That brings me to my second reason. P. She is not a mom yet. She loves taking care of Abhi. She got attached to him so much (Abhi too. 🙂 ). And she loves to cuddle and rock him to sleep. You know, its something any aspiring mom would love to do. 🙂 And I cant deny her that with Abhi by teaching Abhi to sleep on his own. P said she wanted to try making Abhi sleep on his own, but I know she cant do it. I have done all this with Achu and I know its not easy. There will be sleepless nights, babies crying trying to adjust to the new routines, resisting a new way to sleep, not getting what they want and so on. I know P cant do it. 🙂 Even if she could, I didn’t want her to. Because I want her to have that close experience with Abhi. 🙂 She deserves having a kid and to be a mom. And until that happens to her, I want her to, at least, have this experience now.

My third and painful reason is what started happening to Abhi and me ever since our India trip began. Something that started with our flight trip to India. I had no clue that it was going to be a pattern for couple more weeks. On the flight to India, Abhi and Achu, cried the most. I could hold only one of them at one time. Because Achu was crying the loudest, I had to hold her most of the time and let Abhi cry it out. I just had no choice then. After going home, the same pattern continued. Achu was at her cranky most for many weeks. Abhi was mellow, laying down on the bed, being on his own. After I got a maid to help, Achu wouldn’t go to her and I had to let the maid take care of Abhi for few things while I attended to Achu (all the time). Achu’s sleep was at her worst and I was getting the feeling that I was spending all my time with Achu. Surely, I was feeding Abhi, changing or monitoring him etc. But, just the bare minimum. He was mostly by the bed in the living room, watching things around or playing or watching TV. He slept by himself, didn’t need to be patted or rocked. Didn’t even need anyone be next to him and make him sleep.

Some days later, I realized what was happening. How much I was missing Abhi. And how he must be missing me. The first time Achu fell sick, my first thought also included Abhi, about how he was going to get more ignored from me because Achu wouldn’t leave me alone. Maid was gone after some three weeks but I didn’t hire anyone else. By then, I was crazy about getting every thing done first for Achu because I didn’t want to change anything and make her cry more. I figured it out that wasn’t solution. She cant always come first. Just because Abhi wasn’t complaining didn’t mean he shouldn’t deserve more time from me. (There were times when I used to wish if Abhi was as demanding as Achu). I started with locking myself and Abhi up for some half an hour in the bedroom before he would sleep, so that I could get some one on one time with Abhi (Achu screamed outside the door for few days and eventually learnt to do something else). I changed their schedule so that Abhi didn’t have to wait always. Even if Achu was crying for something, I let her cry or have ignored her to give time to Abhi. Achu eventually learnt and behaved much better than when I was giving her all the attention. I also tried to fix Achu’s sleep so that I could sleep better and be there awake in the morning with Abhi.

Things are better now. Weeks have passed by since our trip began, but I still have the feeling that I don’t spend enough time with Abhi. Abhi was temporarily supposed to sleep in P’s room, until kids settle down from the jet lag, place change etc. But, then P got so attached to Abhi that I couldn’t take that away from her. So Abhi stills sleeps in P’s room at night. I used to shuttle down between bedrooms for few days, but after that, P started taking care of Abhi all by herself. I feel like I am not doing justice to him by not taking care of him at nights. Personality wise, Abhi is not the kind of kid (now) who would demand attention. Unlike Achu, if he needs something or if he is bothered, he sits silently than come to us. On the other hand, Achu always shows her displeasure very clearly in actions which makes people around her give her attention. You know, I think this is the biggest challenge for a twin mom that she cant be a 100% mom at the same time, to both the kids. All this made me develop a soft spot for him. Since I didn’t have to put any effort in making him sleep for the most part of his first year, I want him to have that attention and care, at least now. I want him to be rocked to sleep and pampered a lot to make up for the time he didn’t get enough time from me. I don’t want to be that strict with him yet. I am so very conscious at giving Abhi more time and attention that I watch out for his mood and give him more attention. All the times I jump at the chance of putting Abhi to sleep or rock him or pamper him. Achu also needs to learn that there are two babies in the house and they both should get equal attention. But, she is also a baby and its only natural for her to feel possessive about me. At home, I know that the same pattern is continuing even now. I think, its natural tendency to take care of the crying baby. Whenever Achu is crying, I see even nanny is only looking after her and I don’t even hear Abhi. Those times, I go sit next to Abhi and play with him or read to him that he wont feel lost.

Looking at the bright side, I am glad that Abhi has like two moms now. :). So he is going to be pampered for few more days, until P will stay with us. Once the needs comes up to have Abhi and Achu sleep in the same room with us, I will work on making him sleep better. I hope, until then, he will get all the pampering he missed when he should have had it too.

Little Sister

In her own way, little sister Achu drives her little brother Abhi away from her. Firstly, she is very possessive of everything around her. If she is sitting in my lap and she sees Abhi around, she will continue to sit in my lap for as long as she could, because she doesn’t want Abhi to sit in my lap. Once she saw Abhi crawling towards me and hurriedly ran towards me and sat in my lap. 🙂 Last week, she screamed because she didn’t want nanny to feed Abhi (that was new, btw. 🙂 ). This morning, she saw Abhi drinking his milk laying down in my lap, she wanted it that way too. With toys, its like everything is hers. Even if Abhi is holding the toy and if she didn’t want the same toy a moment ago, she will grab it from him. She takes books away from him and just throws them away. No reason, really. And there are other endless things she does which have made Abhi stay away from her. 🙂 But, in her own way, she already knows that she can play with Abhi. She tries to copy everything he does. It seems to me like she learns more from him than what she learns from us. She pays more attention to what Abhi is doing always. Sometimes, she tries to engage him in a peekaboo play or wants him to chase her. Abhi doesn’t acknowledge this all much. It’s not quite working yet, but, slowly they are getting there. Important thing is Achu keeps trying to include Abhi in her play or asks for his help. 🙂

* When we were in Hyderabad, pooja room was one of their favorite places. As long as the door to the pooja room was open and my dad is doing pooja, both Abhi and Achu are stationed outside the little room, doing their best to sneak in, trying to take things away etc. This was their morning routine everyday, for few weeks. One morning, by the time they expected the door to be open, it wasn’t. So they went ahead and got themselves busy in other things. Someone walks in, opens the pooja room door and Achu notices that. She quickly crawls to the door (they weren’t walking then), gets ready to do her things and realizes Abhi wasn’t there. She goes back to living room, looks at Abhi, points to the open door. That was her telling him that the pooja room door was open now. 🙂 Next second, both of them were crawling towards the room to play there.

* Abhi and Achu are in their Disneyland aka our bedroom. We have come to the point where we spell B-E-D-R-O-O-M than just say the word, because once they hear the word, they want to go in and play there. They act super excited in this room, rushing from one corner to other. Touching few things or saying no tataa (no touchey) for few. One thing, they play with is the humidifier. According to Abhi and Achu, anything unplugged needs to be plugged in. So they both sit next to the humidifier and make every effort to plug it in. And since, that’s not safe, I plugged in a plug cover into the socket. The next time, Achu was in trouble. She could no longer plug it in. So what does the little sister do? Runs to her brother and brings him back to the humidifier to let him know of the situation. Together, they sit, start scraping the plug cover with their little nails. Thankfully, they didn’t succeed then. 🙂 But, later, they managed it.

* Next time, Achu has decided to open her dad’s backpack. Now, the problem was she doesn’t know what to do with the zips on the bag. She tries to jiggle it for few seconds. It doesn’t work. So, again, she goes and lets Abhi know of her problem. It’s so surprising to see Achu not say anything, and yet Abhi understands that she needs something. Abhi also comes back to the bag, and both of them try to open the backpack.

* Murali and I are in the kitchen while Abhi and Achu are playing in the tunnel. I didn’t even realize they were playing with each other there. I thought they were just doing things on their own, like most of the times. Suddenly, Abhi starts to laugh out loud. I don’t know what happened, but the little sister managed to do something that made Abhi laugh. Abhi continued to laugh for few seconds while Achu continued with her silly acts. 🙂

* It wouldn’t be right if I only wrote the instances where Achu is the trying to play with Abhi and Abhi isn’t responding well.  Sometimes, this little sister becomes the smart sister and gets what she wants .When she realizes that taking a toy away from Abhi will mean she will be made to return it, she devises smart ways to get what she wants. Imagine, Abhi had a toy (or phone) she badly wants now just because Abhi has it :). Instead of grabbing it from him, she tricks him. Or treats him. She will pick other toys or interesting things from the box and drops it in front of him. She will put every toy in front of him until Abhi decides to want the new toy. When Abhi wants the new toy, he leaves what he has now, takes the other one. Mission accomplished for Achu. She gets what she wanted. 🙂 The first time, she did it, I couldn’t believe she really did this. More times we saw her do something this, we saw she was really tricking Abhi. Of course, we took whatever she was getting this way, away from her, so she stopped doing this. I guess, she is cooking smarter ways now. 🙂

Little brother Abhi is still busy in his own world, doing his favorite things, learning in his way. I cant wait to see him reciprocate to his little sister. Hopefully that will be soon.