There are some good things with my Hyderabad trip. As a person who easily forgets the good, (I think some of them are already gone from my memory), I need to write them down here.
* Irrespective of how or why the trip happened, I am really very very thankful for the time I spent with Abhi and Achu. This was, probably the second time I acted responsibly (first, being the pregnancy time), but much more than what I have done before. I spent almost every minute of the time they were awake with them. Very few hours away from them. Maybe in normal mommy’s world, it’s expected. But for someone who is working, it’s a lot different. I never thought I could be the stay at home mom, but I managed fine. I am so happy that I got to watch them play, cry, fight, sleep, learn new things, do new tricks and many many more. Just so grateful for the time I got to spend with them.
* When I say I did everything for them, I did everything for them and I couldn’t be more proud of it. This has helped me in other ways too. One of them is that I gained some confidence in taking care of twins. Not that I feel like I am an expert now, in fact, every day or week still feels like a new challenge (and it will feel so for the rest of the lifetime), but at least, I think I can survive this. I am getting to the point where I can give advise to other new twin mommies I meet. 🙂
* All the hard work I did for Abhi and Achu 24*7 paid off in another form. I lost some weight. I know the numbers don’t matter, neither do the comments I get now and I know, I still have a long way to go. But, something is better than nothing, right? In fact, its much better than gaining weight (which seems to be the trend now).
* Although I still felt sleepless most of the time, when my aunt arrived to visit Abhi and Achu, she asked me to go get some sleep, while she watched Abhi and Achu. In fact, she was the first one to say, ‘You were up all night putting Achu back to sleep. Why don’t you go get some sleep now?’. You have no idea how much those words meant to me. I couldn’t really sleep when Abhi and Achu were playing/screaming in the living room, but, at least I got a chance to lay down. When my aunt was leaving, she gave me a wonderful advise. She said, when you go back to Redmond and office, you wont get much time to sleep, so sleep now and someone will watch the kids.I did just that. Forced myself to sleep and got some really good sleep after a long time. I just wish I did this before. 🙂
* How can I forget the food? It’s not like I am crazy about food, but the food we can’t get here, sure I want that. 🙂 So, I had planned to eat and eat all the time. We went to a lunch buffet once, had some delicacies, ate at some of our family restaurants, had a lunch with P and other friends (we seem to be following a trend, even last time, we went to the same place). But, I was very conscious about my weight gain, so I cut down a lot and didn’t eat all that I could. People say I lost weight easily and quickly, that’s not true. Only I know how hard I worked taking care of twins and how much I controlled my diet. It wasnt easy.
* To say that I learnt to shut-up is also my most important accomplishment. I learnt to just listen to people and their stupid stupid advise and not say anything. Not even process it inside. I heard my daughter being called a minus multiple times (Boys are plus and girls are minus, it seems) and I didn’t say anything. I was told that a 10 month old baby can get all nutrition from a spoonful of cooked rice and I didn’t say anything. I was told I was feeding them a lot of food and I didn’t say anything. (Honestly, who says that to kids; Especially those who weigh like 20% of what other kids their age weighed). Simply, there were many many more and I didn’t say anything. Huge accomplishment, really. I also made my first effort to reading between lines about what people are exactly saying. Earlier, I would just innocently believe them, but now, I am at least trying.
* Phew! I got over Abhi and Achu’s feeding fever. When we were here, I used to panic soooo much about them not finishing their bottles or not eating what they were supposed to. Each time one of them threw up, I cried. True. I measured every day, how many oz were they taking, compared to rest, compared to other same age kids and super panicked about all the feeding cycle. I got over all that. I now think, its okay if they don’t properly eat one
meal day. They vomiting, is still a big depressing point, though.
* This trip also happened to be the first time I realized that I have my own parenting style. That I wasnt going to blindly believe what others are telling me, that I want to take things slow and not rush (just because other kids that age are doing more, doesn’t mean I will make mine do that), that I will get my tips and information from sources I think are talking sensibly and have some supporting information (aka internet), that I will not surrender to the grandparents over pampering and insist on my own rules. I did prove to them that my way of doing things was better (at least my aunt openly agreed with my way). I still didn’t understand why I had to explain my parenting style to others who don’t do a thing. After raising my twins for a year, imagine being asked to change how I do things because it’s not their way of doing things, I simply don’t care. I do all the hard work, so I will choose what works for us.
* Completing the trip to Tirumala by foot is also something, I am happy that we finished. It went fine, really. It was the highlight of my trip. I should really write more about those two weeks we did everything.
* This is not something I am really happy about, but, I am fine that the first time Abhi and Achu got sick, I was at home, completely focussing on them. Had I been working, I would be here and there, worrying too much. I realized kids get sick and better. I saw what fever or cold or cough or diarrhea can do to them. :(. Phew! It wasnt an easy first experience, but, I am happy first times are over and now I am little less fearful when they get sick.
* I finally understood why we all women go gaga over shopping. Honestly, I liked wearing good clothes, but I was never the shopping freak. But, this time I changed. Two or three times I went shopping with P, I couldn’t take my eyes off all the colors and varieties. I really wanted to buy them all :). I didn’t, anyway. Got few chudidar sets for myself and many more dresses for Abhi and Achu. I also bought diamond ear rings for the first time. Same for Achu (She got 2 pairs actually :)).