Hi….This is Achu. Aah! Whom am I kidding? Of course you know its me. I am here to enlighten you on my sleep time story. To tell you precisely what goes on my mind while you sit next to me for those 15 minutes waiting for me to fall asleep. What’s that? Its not 15 minutes? You are saying I take at least 30 minutes? Oh! common. I am not that kind of baby. Maybe I took like 29 minutes, but 30, no, never. Hmm! Okay…Okay…You don’t have to remind of our every night for the last week. I will let you have this one, this time. Okay, I take at least 30 minutes to sleep every night. What now? 30 minutes is the best case scenario? Really amma? You expect me to understand what best case scenario means? What again? One hour is the average time I take. What’s this average now? One and half an hour to fall asleep is my personal worst? Honestly amma, you are losing me here with all these fancy words. One and half an hour? NO WAY! Even I would remember that amma. Ohhh…Okay..okay…That night when you very tired, hungry and had lots of office work to do….I think I remember it vaguely…ohh…look amma…crow…its a crow…Its calling me…ka ka ka ka…
No, no…I am not changing topic amma…Anyway, crib not. Like I said, I am here to present you my perception of how our sleep time works for me. What now? I am babbling too much? Common amma, This is my first post. Let me, please. How many 14 month old babies you know blog? Huh?
Aah! Thanks for keeping silent for a minute there. Let me come to my point. Now, let me just sum up our routine for the night. See, I know, you keep me on a routine hoping that would fix my sleep problems. I know that already.(just the maintaining a routine part, okay? Not this was supposed to help fix things. That I don’t know what you are talking about). So, every night at about 6 in the evening you prepare me a bottle of milk and take me to my crib to put me to bed. Huh! Its not 6 pm. Its 9:30? Really? Are you sure? Well, it sure feels like only 6 (Ohhh amma, I am like the raat abhi jawani hain type and you are like…never mind).
Now, lets cut to the chase. Have you ever once thanked me for not making a fuss about finishing the bottle? Did I ever throw it away in your face like that other kid…who is that….I keep taking things away from always…yeah…right…like Abhi…Did I ever do that? Ohhhh! You are thanking me now..Don’t mention, I guess. Lets move on. I, very politely handle over the bottle to you after I am done drinking from it. ( I know, I know. This last week I haven’t been drinking much, Its called cold amma..It makes little babies breathing bad. Btw, I did thank you silently for understanding this.) After I hand over the bottle to you, I look at your face. You are probably thinking about pending work in the kitchen, what to cook for tomorrow or when to do office work etc. etc. And I am like, heyyy, lets spend some time entertaining amma. Honestly, what’s there in just sleeping. Its just a waste of time. You, yourself don’t mind losing sleep to watch shows on Netflix. (Ahh! Did you really think, I didn’t notice? :P). There are so many fun stuff I could do in that time. I show you the baby sign on the wall, even without you asking me. Nice of me, don’t you think? Plenty of times, I showed you jo-jo on the bumper. There are so many jo-jos on the crib bumper, aren’t they? What? They are not Jo-jos? They are called owls, monkeys, flowers? Well, I point to them at least a 100 times every night and you keep saying jo-jo, how am I supposed to know that those were owls or flowers or whatever. See, seriously, going to sleep is impacting my knowledge too. Sigh!
Okay, anyway, back to the point. Now, you don’t like me showing things from the crib bumper. Fine! How about me scratching the bed? I do such a fine job scratching. Don’t you think? I did catch you steal a smile, when I do the scratching. You like it, don’t you? I don’t let you cut my nails, anyway, don’t you think this will at least trim them nicely? No? You are such a complicated person really. Sigh again!
Alright! What about that crow again? Through out the day, you say its out there in the patio. Why cant I even mention it in the night? Your theory of crow going to jo-jo..I am not buying that amma. Speaking of crow going to jo-jo, what’s that about all toys going to jo-jo at night? You are super silly, amma.
So tell me, what’s wrong with me watching my cute little fingers. I mean, they are cute, they are mine. So, why cant I stare at them? As soon as I start doing this, you start… “Achu…Jo-jo”…Huh! My fingers, my nails, my rules…okay?
When I get upset like this, I sit up. Just trying my chances in case you will allow it. But, not once have you let me sit in my crib. What ever ‘lay down’ means? Even when you say it 100 times? Alright, alright, you caught me, I know I am supposed to be lying down. And I do that religiously. I sit for my pleasure and as soon as you say ‘lay down’, I lay down. Common, we only do this like 100 times every night. Can you be a little flexible, please?
Now, lets talk about the most important phase of our sleep routine. Me rolling inside the crib. You need to get your priorities straight. You are upset if I try to entertain you, you are upset when I sit down, and you are also upset when I am just rolling in the crib. I mean, its my crib, right? There is plenty of space and honestly, I cant occupy all of it, so I roll over in all directions, to all corners to make sure I am using it 100%. What’s wrong in that? Sometimes I really don’t want to make you angry (you will threaten to leave the room and you do do that too..), so I just do the rolling on my pillow. It just takes me another 15 minutes from this phase to start closing my eyes…right? Its not that bad!
I love seeing you all the time, amma, so I keep sneaking a peek at you without sleeping. But you say, shh, then I imitate like I am closing my eyes, really tight. I open them after few seconds and I see you smiling thinking I am cute…right?? Common…you got to accept that. Hihih.
But, anyway, I am a small baby and small babies are not allowed to watch Netflix, so I surrender and sleep. Sometimes I catch you leaving the room and start the process all over again, sometimes I call you in as soon you have settle down in the living room. But, its all love, amma.
So, lets make peace. You be okay with this and I will continue to do what I do now… I Promise, I will get better. I will only take one hour to sleep only thrice a week..Ohh..look amma…crow is calling again…ca….ca…ca..
With Love, Achu
P.S: That thing about me demanding you to keep staring at me tonight, that’s new and that’s going to continue. You know, if you are sitting next to me for that one hour, anyway, why cant you just stare at me?…ca….ca…ca..