Every Friday brings a mixed set of emotions in me. Friday evening Murali comes home and he leaves Sunday night.I am mostly happy and excited that he will be us. I am excited that we will go out and spend sometime outside, do something fun. Sometimes I am just relieved that he is with us. But, not all weekends are like I wish. Some of them, like I said, are fun, relaxing or just normal. Some of them, not so good. One of the last weekends was one such not so good one. I really don’t want to get into details but the whole Saturday was over with me feeling down, crying, lonely and what not. By Sunday afternoon, I fixed myself. Like every time, I do this because I have no option and because I chose to have happy times with kids, no matter what. Sunday afternoon, we feed kids and go out for a lunch buffet. Abhi and Achu let us have a normal lunch. I am always scared of how they will behave and I am always relieved when they stay calm. After we finished lunch, Murali said we were going to some Lincoln Park. It’s somewhere in Seattle. By the time we reached the park, I was sort of back to normal and then guess what happens, Murali drops another bomb on me. And I was just expected to pick up myself just right after that? Common..its not even been 24 hours, I was like..Can I at least catch a break? I had no idea what to say, or what to do. It did really sound like a serious situation. We have been in that situation already and I cannot afford to take anything like that anymore. P, Abhi and Achu were fast asleep in the car when I heard the news, so they didn’t know anything. And of course, I had to act normal, again. And I did, almost.
The only relieving thing for me was that this Lincoln Park was next to Lake Washington. I didn’t know that, so it came as pleasant surprise. I don’t know why I like water that much (actually I am very scared of deep waters), the sight of bay view in front of me was very pleasing and very relieving. I told Murali and P to continue walking with Abhi and Achu in the stroller and settled on a bench (the park was actually on a hill) watching the calm waters. I didn’t do anything, didn’t think about anything, just sat there and kept watching. Murali came back and we chatted then, but, frankly, I don’t think there was anything new. It’s the same story again. So, I wanted to spend few more minutes, just sitting there, not talking, calmly watching the water. I could hear sound of some light waves on the beach down the hill. It was so serene. Such a bliss. If I have to deal with hard things each day, can I please atleast live next to some lake, please? 😦
P knew I was upset, but she was thinking I was upset from the day before. I didn’t want to her know about the new thing. Even if telling her meant more support for me, I didn’t want her to know about this. So I didn’t say anything.
We thought, there must have been a trail from the hill to reach the beach. We initially didn’t find the stroller accessible route, but I was determined to go near the water, touch it and put my feet in it. So I made everyone go back to the car, put Abhi and Achu in baby carriers and set out for beach. And boy, did I do the best thing?
The place was beautiful. It wasn’t much crowded. We found a place to settle down on wooden logs next to the water. P and I love love love water. Murali and Achu decided that they don’t want anything to do with the water and didn’t even bother to get up from their seats. See Achu giving us a thumbs up in this picture? 🙂
But we found out we have company to play with water. Its Abhi. He absolutely loved water too. Water was cold, so we didn’t let him near water for long time, but when we let him touch his feet or hands in water, he loved it. He splashed in the water as long as we let him. We sure have to take him to the swimming pool. He would love it. Achu will shriek and scream until she will like the water, but, once she gets comfortable, she will love it too. Until then, she can hide behind her dad. 🙂
We spent about an hour near the water, but I sure forgot everything about what was bothering me. P, Abhi and I played in the water for a while, I went into the water until it was knee deep, didn’t care about water being very cold. I stood there as long as I could. It helped. It really did help me forget everything, even if it for little time. Huh! I sure do want to live next to water. As of now, I think, only that can bring me peace.