Confusions Continue…

I am one such confused soul. I have never been this confused in my life, as to what way should I go. It turns out more responsibilities we have, more difficult it is to make decisions. I am talking about what I am going to do for the next few months. I make a decision and then I start seeing the downside of that option, I switch to another one, then switch back to another. Its been one long loop of going back and forth. 😦

So as of 12/10/12, 9:00 pm ,my decision was to go to India with mom for 3 months, (working from India) come back in April, join Murali (take a break) and we four go to India in July for the twins birthday. That’s pending approvals from office and other logistics worked out etc. Inside, it was killing me that I will have to away from work for over 6 months. I maybe working from India, but that’s not the same as being in my seat. All day Monday, this was what was on my mind. So, 9:10 pm, Murali recommended yet another option, that I keep working until March (with babies), we four move to Vancouver in March. I take a break from work, and we all go to India in July for the birthday stuff. Sounds fine too. Doesnt it? For a minute it did sound fine to me. After all, I could keep working. Well, not anymore. Now the burden of having to take care of two infants hits me (And its not the physical work that I am worried about. It’s the apprehension of first time parents on whom the twins ENTIRELY depend on. Get how big of a responsibility that is? ). So, now I want to go to India with mom. 😦

Dad just mailed me that I cant have the cake and eat it too. I have to compromise one way. And answer is very obvious to me. Because I think I need to give what’s best for Abhi and Achu, I do want to take the route of going to India with mom. But why is it so hard for me to stay with that option?

I am so close to putting an voting button in here. Vote your option and I will go with it. 😦

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12 thoughts on “Confusions Continue…

  1. I dont know why you are worried about how to look after the kids , you are fine and I am sure will do fine tooo..

    its a learning experience and its like hands on job, you learn as you go .. that does not make anyone a bad parents..

    regarding going to india and all .. well but I wont vote as I think the kids are too young but i can understand the emotional side of it , the first birthday and all .. so in the end its you and your hubby who have to make a decision …

    I ma sure everything will work out fine 🙂 hey you can hire me as a baby sitter .. now here is an idea 🙂

    1. I do agree its a learning experience. Just want to take the safe route if possible and give kids the best, but at the expense of my compromising on other things.

      Baby sitter..you….you have to pass some prelim tests..only then you will be hired..:)

  2. It’s entirely your decision I understand, but the small bit where you mentioned that you will find it tough to stay away from your seat for 6 months, makes me feel that you should stay back. It is not easy, I agree, and I have just one baby, and some help in managing home too. But somehow, working away from the workplace esp when you are used to it and might miss it, well, it doesn’t work out for someone like me.
    Give it a shot if you can. Somehow, when you face a tough situation, you find a way out too. It might take time and effort but it does work out 🙂

  3. Go by your gut instinct Dil. In the many posts in recent past I have read about you wanting to continue with your job for the sheer passion you feel for it. You are doing fine on the twin’s front and trust me all parents learn as and when things happen. So take it easy dear.
    Offcourse the idea of moving to India with the babies does sound lucrative in many ways, but if you’ll go by your heart you’ll be happier and everything else will sure find a solution too.
    Don’t indulge in the thoughts of being a good / bad parent. All parents want the best for their babies, it’s just that we need to remember that parents too are human beings with dreams, desires and most importantly a life of their own.
    Give things a try while staying in your job, if it gets too taxing you already know what else can be done.
    Take care and try to relax dear 🙂

    1. Totally agreed… I think its good that I am going back and forth so many times..When I do make a decision, I would have considered all the possible ways and HOPEFULLY wont regret my decision. Thanks a lot. 🙂

  4. I feel you might be fine with your husband’s solution. Any way to hire a nanny or bring someone over to help in taking care ?

    Don’t worry, everything will be fine. So you are shifting to Vancouver eh.

  5. My experience for 1 year my parents and in laws were with me, of course that was a blessing. But I started enjoying my mommy hood after they left. Its tough initially but definitely not an impossible one. I am sure between you and hubby you can manage. Can you try some part time nanny or daycare if that helps? Are you moving to Vancouver Canada or Vancouver,WA?

    1. I too think that I will bond me. Achu sleeps in my mom’s bedroom now and some nights I dont even see her all night. and I would have felt so bad by morning for that. I already have a nanny..but because its twins…we need more than one person all the time..

      Its vancouver, canada… 🙂

  6. My first time here Dil..And all I can say is Follow your heart! As long you don’t regret later both options have its own plus and minus! Just take a stand and do not look back!

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