Too confused

Just few weeks back to work and I have no motivation or time to blog. I am pretty much drawing blank on what new things Abhi and Achu are doing at home. I am like their evening nanny. Each work hour keeps reminding me of how much I want to be with the babies the whole day, same time I keep wondering if that’s all because of work stress. Just can’t make up my mind yet. It is true that even though I think I know its hard work, I want to be home spending most of my time with the twins. But I also worry if this is going to be a move I will regret later, on the career front. What if I finally decide to take a break from work and later miss work or feel bored at home or feel exhausted taking care of the babies? Working full time and having two infants at home to take care of is not easy either, but some part of my brain thinks maybe going to work will be actually like a break. But can I handle the stress and spend all my physical energy and not have any fun? Seems tough. Murali said your career and kids – both are important. But you got to see which one is more important. Hmm. Answer is obvious and right in front of me and yet I am so confused as to deciding on what to do.

That being said, Murali’s team has offered him to move to Canada temporarily and we are seriously considering it. I dont know if I should take this as a new complexity to the situation or as signal that I can take a break. You see, if Murali moves to Canada, so do I. I need to relocate my work as well. And moving to a new place with just months old twins, taking up a new job etc is a complication I can’t handle now. Maybe if I do take a break, I can avoid all these and have time to spend with my twins. But again, will my team let me go on that long break (about 9 months) or let me work remote? Sigh. I told you it was complicated.

Anyway, I am just going to leave this for now and let time take care of. If everything goes well, maybe I will go to India with mom and twins in January. Murali relocates to Vancouver in March. I am back with him in April and work remotely or continue my leave until Abhi and Achu are one year old. Lets see what happens. Wish us good luck. 🙂


14 thoughts on “Too confused

  1. I am sure things will soon fall in place to show you the best path among what seems like a crossroad at the moment.
    Sending lots of best wishes and hugs your way 🙂

  2. Well you wont know till you ASK 🙂 so go ahead and discuss it with the team .. they might give you what you want 🙂

    and canada is beautifulllllllllllllllllllllllllll

    my best wishes your way … take care

  3. Oh these complications Dil. And the babies are just few months old ?! I understand they need you but even the career break is bothersome. I hope you get your long leave sanctioned and get to be with your kids. Lots of good wishes sending your way. 🙂

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