< This is another post about my birthday. So its going to be a sad one. >
I never really understood the phrase “Be Content With What You Have”. How can one be content in life? How does one grow in his life if he is always content with what he has. If I was content with the job I had and never worked hard, I would never be promoted, I wouldn’t be in a better position in my life. In case – “Be Content” came with a * – a clause, is that * applicable to my situation? If I feel normal, what’s wrong if I want to be happy? If I am happy, what’s wrong if I want to be happier? And honestly, who sets a maximum limit on how much love one is supposed to be content with.
I ask myself these questions very frequently. Each time I wish for something, each time I wish I was given something. And more so in the context of special days. Last time I wrote this post, I felt birthdays are overrated, they are not supposed to be any extra special, nothing special really. Its just another normal day. At least I told myself so. I was content with what I had. Because my expectations were high and I dreamed high ( did I really? ) , it was easy to be disappointed. Two years later, I stay the same. Unhappy about my birthdays.
There has got to be something about me and birthdays. Mean a lot to me. Shouldn’t it.. to everybody? A really special day. And I hope that special days are kept special. However, the world around me doesn’t think so. It thinks any day is normal. I say a special occasion is a day to celebrate, be more happy, make something out of the day, my world thinks – Its just another day. If I didn’t want everyday to be the happiest day (being practical), is it wrong if I expect me to be wanting to be more happy on special days? Make the day special so that I can remember it well. Have a happy memory of it? Should I really let go of this and be really content with what I have?
If I do let go of my expectations from the world around and try make my day better on my own, I can. But do I want to be that person? No. Do I have to be for my own sake? Yes.