Okay. I am trying to change. Trying to become a better person than I am now. There are multiple reasons behind why I want to get better, but that is not the point now. The point (and the problem at hand) is that all the bad habits I have, almost always boil down to my sleeping habits (at least according to my mom). Sleeping really late and waking up even late is part of my life. In the 3.5 years of our marriage, not once did I wake up before Murali. (okay, may be once or twice). But in my defense, here is why I dont do that..
♥ I love my morning sleep. That is the only time of the sleep when I actually sleep.
♥ If you are thinking all wives should rise and shine before the husbands do, is it fair to compare me to a human who is waiting for the clock to strike 6 so that he can get out of the bed?
♥ When I have kids, would they let me sleep? Or even worse, what if they are like Murali and wake up at 6?
♥ All of my beloved grandmas and grandpas complain that they can no longer sleep because they are old. If I am going to be one of them in future, why would I want to spoil my happy sleep now?
♥ What do I do waking up so early? (Okay! fine. This reason is no longer valid)
Anyway, never mind my reasons not to. Again, the problem here is how-to-wakeup. And so, like a normal aaj-kal-ka human, I binged “How to wake up early”. (Binged..Sheesh…I dont like the sound of it. 😦 ). And what I found was very uninteresting and stupid. For example,
♥ First stupid idea: Setting alarm and keeping the alarm far away from the bed. The idea is that one will wake up and go switch it off. Yeah. Sure! As if that is going to happen. Do you know what will happen…
♣ On the first day, I will get up, switch off the alarm and come back sleep. Just as in trance and like that alarm was far away for no reason.
♣ On the second day, Murali will get up, switch off the alarm and try wake me. Instead of me waking up, I would make him sleep again.
♣ On the third day, Murali will get up, switch off the alarm and keeping yesterday morning’s experience in mind, he would silently slip away from the bedroom.
♣ On the night before the fourth day, Murali will give me some silent-cold-killer looks and switch off the alarm and I just can’t care less.
♣ And for the rest of the days, I wouldn’t even remember that I was trying to wake up early.
♥ Second stupid idea: Get a friend to call you in the morning and keep talking until I wake up.
♣ Sounds good. But who is going to wake up this person? And where does he live? On Pandora?
♣ Instead of trying to help me get rid of one bad habit, are you asking me to develop another bad habit of talking before brushing? Yikes.
♥ Another stupid idea: Take a hot shower and cut the heat and blah blah and blah blah.
♣ Did you say a hot shower on a cold winter morning that would make me feel very warm and cozy and soothi…..Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Now you get the point. Don’t you? These ideas are so superficial. Given that, I used my brain cells (in their most active time, i.e. night) and came up with a personalized plan to help one wake up in the morning.
♥ Have kids. I bet one won’t be sleeping a minute more than he or she can. Even better, follow this.
♣ Send your children to far far away schools (No matter how old they are)
♣ Make sure you spoil them so that they only eat exotic breakfasts, lunches and snacks.
♣ Even if your work place is close to your home, take a busy city bus/train, tour the city and then go to work. (It is important to stand in the bus/train)
♥ Get a nagging husband. Otherwise,
Murali: Please wake up ra
Me: Just 5 more minutes.
Murali: (After 10 minutes) Please..You are getting late.
Me: Just 2 more minutes.
Murali: (After 10 minutes) Please…
Me: Its late anyway. 10 more minutes.
…… and the story continues.
♥ Get addicted to coffee. Why do you think Murali doesn’t wait a minute after he is awake to get out of the bed? To meet his best buddy. He goes by the name ‘Folgers Classic Roast’.
♥ Miss out on satisfying things in life. To wake up early, we got to sleep early, remember? That means no more reading blogs, writing on blog, no more commenting, no more.. etc. etc. etc.
♥ Follow the 90 minute sleep pattern cycle. Oh, btw, that means sleeping 90 minutes early. As we know that all the tv shows run for either 30 minutes or 60 minutes, this means that one might have to watch TV for at least 3 hours before going to bed. Isnt this idea better than the others?
♥ Devise a machine that will automatically throw you out of the bed at a certain time.
♥ Than eating a bit of yogurt or protein after waking up, drinking a little something before sleep has proven to solve many of the major problems. 🙂
Now,did you read all that? Tell me, is it worth it? Not you coffee lovers! But people like me. The Morning stars..because we sleep and let others sleep….