An overdose of movies lately and I am here, writing this. Recently, I have disliked every movie I watched. Even the best of the best movies are not on my watchable movies list. For the record, the only movie I liked recently is a Telugu movie called Gamyam. To me, it’s not the action, lead actors, violence or masala that make a good movie, but its the story. But I should mention that good music stand-alone gets a lot of appreciation from me. Coming to talking about modern-day cinema makers,
@ If you think any thing in the movies these days is silly, you shouldnt be making movies.
@ There are only two types of movies. One is a sense less commercial movie and the other is a flop movie.
@ A pre-requisite is that you must have watched all non-indian movies before the audience has so that you can make a genuine copy.
@ Wanna make a movie and you don’t have a story? No problem. Make sure you get these people in this order.
- A music director who can make a decent remix of somebody’s music.
- A top notch fashion designer who has the ability of making the skimpiest of clothes (or simply, uses the scissors wrong)
- For acting, hire who ever you see next. (Pick me..Pick me…)
@ If you are thinking of making a regional movie and blowing up fifty cars for the lead actors introduction scene seems unnecessary to you, get out.
@ Comedy, here and there, is must. But don’t worry. All that you have to do is think of some sleazy, insane and stupid bits. (Even better if you are drunk while writing this.)
@ No words like ‘family entertainment’ exist in the modern movie dictionary.
@ There is as such no required order in which you should plan the movie. You can get the six songs done first, followed by the hero’s introduction scene, climax fights, the thing that you call romance and later decide on a story and how you want to connect all these things. It’s that easy. May I suggest outsourcing this connecting jobs to kids from near by school? I am pretty sure they can do a better job.
@ If you plan on remaking a hit movie into another language, you don’t really have to watch the movie. There are pros now when it comes to making stunning copies.
@ Sometimes it works even better when you get most of the things above wrong, in which case you would have carried numerous publicity stunts (like celebrating the 50 days function even before the movie has released).
I am sure the list goes on. It’s an easy job for all the movie critics/reviewers. Your default review scripts can have a 3 out of 5 with keywords, love, fights, sleazy comedy, nice locations and nothing new story.
Off to watch Inception tomorrow. I already have my expectations set high. Something tells me I wont be disappointed.