Like the soccer world cup, I guess this event will also happen once in 4 years. The event is called Meet-The-Inlaws. I am flying down to Washington DC to meet them over the weekend. They are currently staying at Murali’s brother’s place. In-laws made it all the way from India, but they couldn’t come visit us over here. They assured that they will certainly stay with us the next time. Well, lets see, in the last 10 years,
No. of persons expected to visit – Year span – No.of actual visits
2 10-12 years 1
Well, looking at the statistics, its pretty obvious when the next time is going to be.
So Dil is temporarily, I repeat, temporarily going to be in her traditional avatar. Dearest Mom called a day in advance to give me THE checklist. A check list of few things I am supposed to carry (oops…wear..wear), few things I am supposed to do, and few things I have to pretend to be not existing in this world.
Going forward, let this list serve as a baseline to all those who want to make the avatar transition temporarily.
Let’s start with what to wear.
@ The Holy Sutra. If you, like me, have a yellow thread in the sutra, make sure you draw some dark markings with pencil over it. The clean, clear yellow thread just gives away the signals that you never actually wore it (and oh yeah….We are never that particular about cleaning them regularly).
@ A bright red, five cm diameter bindi. (On a side note the brand name on my old bindi packet reads ‘Grace Girl’). Cant stress enough about the brightness and the size of the bindi.
@ At least five grams of kumkum applied right below the bindi. If only grandma was talking to me on the phone, I swear she would have insisted an applying the kumkum horizontally. (Yeah..For some in my family, it’s a sin to have the vertical line on your forehead. Gosh..people I tell you..)
@ Two similar sets of bangles on each hand. Btw, Mom didn’t mention how many of them I should be wearing in each set, but she probably meant that as long as both the hands add up to a 1/4 kg of gold, it is okay.
Coming to what I need to forget
@ Sleeve less, Skirts, Caprice…you know the list.
Now the toughest part, things I need to fake
@ Stopping talking non-sense. (She probably meant all that I am writing now)
@ Sitting straight in the chair
@ Not calling Murali, Murali in front of them. (Common Mom..)
@ Not grinning when asked to touch Murali’s feet for blessings. (Cant stop laughing..)
@ No more waking up late or no longer sitting at the TV and waiting for the food to arrive. Get up now and go help in the kitchen. (Even if I had just stand there..sigh..Mom or Monarch???)
Well, all these might sound too bad, but for few days, I don’t mind doing them, just because it pleases my mom. (Dont think about how she can know? Even if she is not here, she knows, she has her sources (read Murali) )
I am off to being a Good Bahu for the weekend and try impress my in-laws. Sitting in airport now and finishing this. Did I mention I am wearing a skirt? 🙂
Yours Lovingly and Traditionally
Dil Under The Rocks ( aka The Grace Girl)