Life’s overwhelming

Yes it is. Overwhelming in every possible way. Its just like life keeps throwing these challenges at me. Pushing me to the edges. The more I take it, much more challenging it gets.

Here I was, 4 days ago, with all settlements made with the current list of much more complicated issues and for which I said to my self ‘Its-going-to-be-fine’. I even made plans to finish knitting those mittens and hats for the friend’s twins and have fun with my newly found passion, blogging. But, did it go that way? No. Life had turn my life almost upside down.

I am talking about a new opportunity that came my way, from a dearest friend. A wonderful opportunity and I always happen to think that what ever he tells me is for my good. So i just blindly want to follow it. But the challenge is that this opportunity needs more than 100% of me. Probably 1000% of me and I cant over stress my self. I have already pulled myself over other things that I don’t have any energy left. More than anything I need time, lotta time to use this opportunity.

I could just say No. Merely, the thought of saying no relieves me of all the stress. But is this relief justified? is this the right way to relieve myself of the stress? Is this the right way to face the challenges? Nope. My consciousness does not agree. If I don’t take up this opportunity, I am sure I will repent one day for not taking this up.

A part of me says forget it, you are way too stressed to deal with this now. Another part of me says probably if you have time it can work. Only a tiny part of me says this is a golden opportunity, please don’t lose it. But still I don’t have time.

What do I want now? Feeling of hope? those words “Its-going-to-be-alrite” that temporarily keep me going? No. I am over it now. I want a solution. A solution, what ever it is, that makes me happy. Just happy.

Confused as much as I am, I have decided to push this off. I have decided, as of now, to not over stress myself and more importantly to not repent over this later in my life.

I am not sure however that I wont.

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